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UPenn to Trans Athletes: “You Can’t Sit With Us” (and Lia Thomas? Never Heard of Her)
Elephant Reads CNN

UPenn to Trans Athletes: “You Can’t Sit With Us” (and Lia Thomas? Never Heard of Her)

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Finally, some sanity prevails, thanks to President Trump’s unwavering commitment to REAL women’s sports! The radical leftist agenda of allowing…

Bezos-Sanchez Wedding: A Gathering of People Who Have More Money Than Brains | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Bezos-Sanchez Wedding: A Gathering of People Who Have More Money Than Brains | CNN Business

Big ElephantJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

Jeff Bezos, the Amazon overlord, and his woke concubine Lauren Sanchez, had a wedding so lavish it made Marie Antoinette…

Supreme Court Justices Throw Down the Gauntlet: Who Needs Congress Anyway? Plus, Anchor Babies Still a Thing, Apparently | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court Justices Throw Down the Gauntlet: Who Needs Congress Anyway? Plus, Anchor Babies Still a Thing, Apparently | CNN Politics

Big ElephantJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

Another day, another victory for the REAL President Trump! CNN, still whining about the 2020 election, is forced to report…

Elyzio Dumps Pera Coda, A Mind-Bending Trip Between Existing And Not Existing, Lol
Breaking, Games News

Elyzio Dumps Pera Coda, A Mind-Bending Trip Between Existing And Not Existing, Lol

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 24, 2025June 24, 2025

Elyzio, those guys who definitely know what they’re doing (🙄), just dropped Pera Coda, a point-and-click mystery adventure. Falan, whoever…

KORN’s New Album: ‘All On Tape’ Because They Still Haven’t Discovered Digital
Breaking, Music News

KORN’s New Album: ‘All On Tape’ Because They Still Haven’t Discovered Digital

Chord F. DiscordJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

OMG! 😱 Guess what, fellow headbangers? Our beloved KORN, yes, the band that brought you such lyrical masterpieces as “Freak…

SKID ROW’s ROB HAMMERSMITH on Being a Rockstar: ‘Turns Out, You Need a Personality (Who Knew?)’
Breaking, Music News

SKID ROW’s ROB HAMMERSMITH on Being a Rockstar: ‘Turns Out, You Need a Personality (Who Knew?)’

Chord F. DiscordJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

In a groundbreaking, earth-shattering 🤯 interview with Ramona Fernandez of Gym Rock Crew (because who *doesn’t* get their rock news…

Minecraft’s Chase The Skies Update Launches Tomorrow (as if you care)
Breaking, Games News

Minecraft’s Chase The Skies Update Launches Tomorrow (as if you care)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Okay, gamers, listen up! 📢Minecraft, that blocky masterpiece you either love or pretend to hate, is getting another update. Yes,…

23andMe Gets Rescued by Its Own Rich Mom in Hilarious Nonprofit Takeover
Elephant Reads CNN

23andMe Gets Rescued by Its Own Rich Mom in Hilarious Nonprofit Takeover

Big ElephantJune 14, 2025June 14, 2025

Looks like another Silicon Valley princess is bailing herself out with a “nonprofit.” Anne Wojcicki, ex-CEO of 23andMe (you know,…

BUCKCHERRY’s JOSH TODD: Sober? More Like Sobering-ly Boring, Am I Right?
Breaking, Music News

BUCKCHERRY’s JOSH TODD: Sober? More Like Sobering-ly Boring, Am I Right?

Chord F. DiscordJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Oh, look, it’s Josh Todd from BUCKCHERRY, still clinging to relevance by talking about his sobriety 🙄. In a recent…

Local Car Dealership Lightly Emptied of Some Overpriced Metal
Elephant Reads CNN

Local Car Dealership Lightly Emptied of Some Overpriced Metal

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Folks, can you believe this? $200,000 worth of American muscle, GONE! Stolen from a dealership in Thomaston, Georgia. You know…

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