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Tag: breaking

Jesse Jackson, Now 84?! Still Kicking, Just in a Hospital, LOL
Breaking News: Liberal Activist Jesse Jackson's Brain Finally Starts to Malfunction! Is This Karma?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Jesse Jackson, Now 84?! Still Kicking, Just in a Hospital, LOL

Big ElephantNovember 13, 2025November 13, 2025

It seems the architect of racial division, Jesse Jackson, is now facing some ‘progressive’ health issues. At 84, Jackson, a…

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS FREED: Liberal Judge HANDS THEM BACK TO THE STREETS
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS FREED: Liberal Judge HANDS THEM BACK TO THE STREETS

Big ElephantNovember 12, 2025November 12, 2025

Another day, another activist judge trying to undermine President Trump’s efforts to MAGA! This time, a deep-state operative in Illinois…

Elden Ring DLC: Nightreign of the Forsaken Hollows or How We Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Abyss
Breaking, Games News

Elden Ring DLC: Nightreign of the Forsaken Hollows or How We Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Abyss

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 12, 2025November 12, 2025

Alright, gamers, gather ’round because FromSoftware just dropped a bombshell at the PlayStation State of Play, and it’s either genius…

‘Avatar: Fire and Ash’: Prepare to Have Your Eyeballs Glued to the Screen for an Eternity
Breaking, Movie News

‘Avatar: Fire and Ash’: Prepare to Have Your Eyeballs Glued to the Screen for an Eternity

FinnNovember 12, 2025November 12, 2025

Prepare yourselves for an epic cinematic experience filled with… more blue people doing stuff. 🙄 According to the esteemed AMC…

Judge Delays Epic vs Google Settlement: Demands Less Secrecy, More Shenanigans
Breaking, Games News

Judge Delays Epic vs Google Settlement: Demands Less Secrecy, More Shenanigans

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 12, 2025November 12, 2025

Okay, gamers, gather ’round because this is HUGE! 🤩 Remember that time Epic Games and Google went at it like…

Woody and Buzz Return in Toy Story 5: Prepare for More Existential Dread and Plastic Mayhem
Breaking, Movie News

Woody and Buzz Return in Toy Story 5: Prepare for More Existential Dread and Plastic Mayhem

FinnNovember 11, 2025November 11, 2025

Woody and Buzz, those dusty relics of childhood, are back for Toy Story 5, because apparently, Pixar ran out of…

The Game Awards 2025 Partners With Prime Video To Subject Viewers To More Ads
Breaking, Games News

The Game Awards 2025 Partners With Prime Video To Subject Viewers To More Ads

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 11, 2025November 11, 2025

OMG! 🤯 The Game Awards, that totally legit and not-at-all-rigged awards show where Geoff Keighley gets to play kingmaker 👑,…

NetEase Chunders Out Another Marvel Rivals Trailer No One Asked For
Breaking, Games News

NetEase Chunders Out Another Marvel Rivals Trailer No One Asked For

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 11, 2025November 11, 2025

Ok, gamers, hold onto your hats (or helmets, or whatever weird headgear superheroes wear) because NetEase Games, bless their cotton…

Stimulus Checks: Because Adulting is Hard and Money Printers Go Brrr
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Stimulus Checks: Because Adulting is Hard and Money Printers Go Brrr

Big ElephantNovember 10, 2025November 10, 2025

Oh, great, now the Fake News CNN is “breaking down” President Trump’s brilliant plan to send $2,000 tariff rebate checks…

Phasmophobia: Nell’s Diner—Where the Only Thing Scarier Than the Ghosts Is the Food
Breaking, Games News

Phasmophobia: Nell’s Diner—Where the Only Thing Scarier Than the Ghosts Is the Food

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 10, 2025November 10, 2025

Okay, so listen up, buttercups 🙄. I, like, TOTALLY didn’t expect to get sucked into Phasmophobia. When it first dropped,…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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