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Tag: breaking

Because the World Was Missing a Movie Where a Cowboy and a Swordsman Team Up to Fight Crime and Look Ridiculously Cool Doing It in a Battle of Wits and Facial Hair
Breaking, Movie News

Because the World Was Missing a Movie Where a Cowboy and a Swordsman Team Up to Fight Crime and Look Ridiculously Cool Doing It in a Battle of Wits and Facial Hair

FinnApril 27, 2026April 27, 2026

Breaking news: Django and Zorro are teaming up, because who doesn’t love a good buddy cop movie… set in the…

Valve’s Steam Controller Finally Gets a Price and Release Date Because You Were All Dying to Spend Money on Something That Might Possibly Work
Breaking, Games News

Valve’s Steam Controller Finally Gets a Price and Release Date Because You Were All Dying to Spend Money on Something That Might Possibly Work

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 27, 2026April 27, 2026

Oh boy, have you guys been waiting for this moment forever! 🤩 Valve has finally announced the release date and…

Because The World Was Just Missing A Remake Of A 15 Year Old Game That Was Already Kind Of Meh The First Time Around
Breaking, Games News

Because The World Was Just Missing A Remake Of A 15 Year Old Game That Was Already Kind Of Meh The First Time Around

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 27, 2026April 27, 2026

Breaking News: Ubisoft Might Be Remaking the First Assassin’s Creed, Because You Clearly Didn’t Buy Enough Copies of the Original…

House Of The Dragon Season 3 Trailer Is So Lit It Will Probably Burn Down Your House
Breaking, Movie News

House Of The Dragon Season 3 Trailer Is So Lit It Will Probably Burn Down Your House

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 27, 2026April 27, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some more dragons, drama, and disappointment? 🐉👑 Because HBO’s House of the Dragon…

Crimson Desert Breaks All Records By Selling A Whopping 5 Million Copies To Peoples Moms
Breaking, Games News

Crimson Desert Breaks All Records By Selling A Whopping 5 Million Copies To Peoples Moms

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 27, 2026April 27, 2026

The gaming world is shook, and by shook, I mean completely and utterly obsessed with the news that Crimson Desert…

Why Was ‘Gen V’ Canceled Because Apparently Zombies and Superheroes Aren’t Cool Anymore
Breaking, Movie News

Why Was ‘Gen V’ Canceled Because Apparently Zombies and Superheroes Aren’t Cool Anymore

FinnApril 26, 2026April 26, 2026

So, you’re wondering why Gen V was canceled? Well, join the club, folks, because apparently, a lot of people are…

Wow Jay Bentley Is Super Pleased That BAD RELIGION’s Old Songs Are Still Relevant Because Who Doesn’t Love Singing About The Same Old Problems For 40 Years
Breaking News: BAD RELIGION Still Relevant, World Still Messed Up 🤯
Breaking, Music News

Wow Jay Bentley Is Super Pleased That BAD RELIGION’s Old Songs Are Still Relevant Because Who Doesn’t Love Singing About The Same Old Problems For 40 Years

Chord F. DiscordApril 26, 2026April 26, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, BAD RELIGION’s bassist Jay Bentley revealed in an interview with Pancho Reinoso of Sonar…

Events

Breaking News: Pink Composite Revolutionizes Dentures Because Your Grandma’s Smile Wasn’t Already Perfect

Chuck B. BallsyApril 25, 2026

Pink composite: because your dentures should be lit 💁‍♀️🔥 💫 Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical…

KORN Bassist ROBERTO ‘RA’ DÍAZ Still Hasn’t Gotten Tired of Playing the Same 5 Riffs for 30 Years and Honestly What’s Wrong with This Guy
Breaking, Music News

KORN Bassist ROBERTO ‘RA’ DÍAZ Still Hasn’t Gotten Tired of Playing the Same 5 Riffs for 30 Years and Honestly What’s Wrong with This Guy

Chord F. DiscordApril 25, 2026April 25, 2026

So, you wanna know the epic story of how Roberto “Ra” Díaz joined KORN? Well, buckle up, folks, because it’s…

YNGWIE MALMSTEEN Has Finally Emerged From His Time Machine and Finished Recording His New Solo Album Which Will Obviously Be the Same 10 Guitar Solos He’s Been Playing Since 1985 Set to a Slightly Different Backing Track
Breaking News: Yngwie Malmsteen Announces New Album, World Still Spinning 🌎💥
Breaking, Music News

YNGWIE MALMSTEEN Has Finally Emerged From His Time Machine and Finished Recording His New Solo Album Which Will Obviously Be the Same 10 Guitar Solos He’s Been Playing Since 1985 Set to a Slightly Different Backing Track

Chord F. DiscordApril 25, 2026April 25, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, legendary Swedish guitarist Yngwie Malmsteen has revealed that he’s been working on a new…

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Latest posts

  • Trump’s doc says get moving fatty but he’s totally fine naturally
  • Liberal Erin Brockovich suddenly cares about America’s tech progress somehow
  • Life Coaching for the Hopelessly Lost and Clueless People
  • Get Ready for Another Overpriced Wellness Fad Inner Wisdom Labyrinth Coming to Totally Not Rip You Off This Summer
  • Women Should Totally Settle For Less Because Who Needs Self Respect Anyway

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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