Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: breaking

Fortnite FINALLY Crawls Back to Apple After Epic Tantrum Lasted Half a Decade
Breaking

Fortnite FINALLY Crawls Back to Apple After Epic Tantrum Lasted Half a Decade

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 22, 2025May 22, 2025

Hold onto your V-Bucks, folks, because the most dramatic saga since that time Timmy rage-quit your squad is BACK! Yes,…

SHINEDOWN Milking It: Two More Singles Before We Even THINK About Album #8 (OMG!)
Breaking

SHINEDOWN Milking It: Two More Singles Before We Even THINK About Album #8 (OMG!)

Chord F. DiscordMay 22, 2025May 22, 2025

BREAKING: SHINEDOWN’s Brent Smith, During Yet Another Appearance on “On With Mario Lopez” (Because Where Else Would He Be?), Claims…

Metallica Announces 2026 European Tour: Still Playing Those Same Songs, Huh
Breaking

Metallica Announces 2026 European Tour: Still Playing Those Same Songs, Huh

Chord F. DiscordMay 22, 2025May 22, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Metallica, those lovable dinosaurs 🦕, are STILL at it! They’ve announced their “M72” tour is crawling back to…

PlayStation Stars Implodes, Sony Promises Even MORE Digital Trinkets Later (Maybe)
Breaking

PlayStation Stars Implodes, Sony Promises Even MORE Digital Trinkets Later (Maybe)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 21, 2025May 21, 2025

OMG! Sony’s pulling the plug on PlayStation Stars?! 🤣 You know, that “loyalty” program where you grinded for digital trinkets…

Burton C. Bell, Formerly of That Band You Kinda Remember, Drops Solo Single “Savages” to Remind You He Exists Next Week
Breaking

Burton C. Bell, Formerly of That Band You Kinda Remember, Drops Solo Single “Savages” to Remind You He Exists Next Week

Chord F. DiscordMay 21, 2025May 21, 2025

So, Burton C. Bell, the guy who used to scream at robots 🤖 in Fear Factory (before they presumably unionized…

Norm! Dies! The World Ends! (Just Kidding, It’s Only George Wendt, 76, No Biggie)
Breaking

Norm! Dies! The World Ends! (Just Kidding, It’s Only George Wendt, 76, No Biggie)

FinnMay 21, 2025May 21, 2025

Hold onto your barstools, folks, because the big man, the legend, the *Norm* himself, George Wendt, has apparently kicked the…

AS I LAY DYING: The “We Swear We’re Not Still Canceled” European Tour 2025 (Maybe)
Breaking

AS I LAY DYING: The “We Swear We’re Not Still Canceled” European Tour 2025 (Maybe)

Chord F. DiscordMay 21, 2025May 21, 2025

Okay, buckle up buttercups, because your favorite band of reformed (debatable) metalcore mayhem, AS I LAY DYING, is back! And…

OMG! Sega’s “Totally Original” Switch 2 Lineup: Prepare for Mind-Blowingly Predictable Hilarity
Breaking

OMG! Sega’s “Totally Original” Switch 2 Lineup: Prepare for Mind-Blowingly Predictable Hilarity

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 21, 2025May 21, 2025

Oh. My. God. The Nintendo Switch 2 is REAL, you guys! And apparently, Sega, yes, *that* Sega, the one that…

Gavin Rossdale’s Lyrical Genius (Finally) Unveiled: ‘I Beat Loneliness’ (Probably)
Breaking

Gavin Rossdale’s Lyrical Genius (Finally) Unveiled: ‘I Beat Loneliness’ (Probably)

Chord F. DiscordMay 21, 2025May 21, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because Gavin Rossdale from BUSH (yes, *that* BUSH) just dropped some profound wisdom on Baltimore’s 98…

DORO, Queen of Leather & Surprisingly Buoyant Seafaring Anthems, Drops New Banger This Friday (Prepare to Be Seasick)
Breaking

DORO, Queen of Leather & Surprisingly Buoyant Seafaring Anthems, Drops New Banger This Friday (Prepare to Be Seasick)

Chord F. DiscordMay 21, 2025May 21, 2025

Okay, so apparently the “Metal Queen” Doro Pesch (who?) is dropping a new single called “Warriors Of The Sea” this…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 171 172 173 … 193 Next

Latest posts

  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Party of the Month Downtown First Thursdays is Back with the Legendary David Harness
  • Choose Life. Choose Concerts. Choose Bankruptcy!
  • Californians Give Us Their Top 9 Reasons For Still Voting Democrat
  • Cómo perder todo tu dinero en el mercado de acciones americano en 5 fáciles pasos sin saber nada
  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Virtual Open Day Where Youll Probably Get Lost in a Sea of Zoom Meetings and Forget Whats Real Life Again

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}