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Tag: breaking

ASIA somehow still exists and made another album called Indigo
Breaking, Music News

ASIA somehow still exists and made another album called Indigo

Chord F. DiscordJuly 7, 2026July 7, 2026

Breaking News: ASIA is Back, Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Prog Rock in Your Life 🙄 In a shocking…

Kids More Discerning Than Hollywood Execs Review Minions & Monsters
Breaking, Movie News

Kids More Discerning Than Hollywood Execs Review Minions & Monsters

FinnJuly 7, 2026July 7, 2026

The Minions Have Conquered the Box Office, But Can They Conquer Our Hearts (And Also, Do They Have Genitals?) Well,…

Nintendo Peddles More Anime Depth Charging
Breaking, Games News

Nintendo Peddles More Anime Depth Charging

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 7, 2026July 7, 2026

I just spent the most exhausting 2.5 hours of my life at the Nintendo appointment at Summer Game Fest 2026,…

More Bingeable Content to Waste Your Life On This Week Apparently
Breaking, Movie News

More Bingeable Content to Waste Your Life On This Week Apparently

FinnJuly 7, 2026July 7, 2026

Because You Clearly Haven’t Had Enough to Watch Already, Here’s What’s New This Week Let’s face it, the Content Mines…

Amy Lee haunted by one hit wonder demons 20 years later
Breaking, Music News

Amy Lee haunted by one hit wonder demons 20 years later

Chord F. DiscordJuly 6, 2026July 6, 2026

Breaking News: Amy Lee Reveals the Dark Secret Behind “Bring Me To Life” and We’re Shocked, SHOCKED! 🤯 In a…

Stunning Another Generic Epic Made To Separate You From Money
Breaking, Movie News

Stunning Another Generic Epic Made To Separate You From Money

FinnJuly 6, 2026July 6, 2026

Remember when Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey was going to “skip social media influencer screenings” and go straight to professional critics?…

Trump Claims Credit For Walmart’s Summer BBQ Price Drop
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Claims Credit For Walmart’s Summer BBQ Price Drop

Big ElephantJuly 6, 2026

I’m sitting here with my coffee, reading about President Trump taking credit for Walmart’s summer sale, and I just can’t…

Because What Hollywood Needs Is More Lawyers And Fewer Original Ideas
Breaking, Movie News

Because What Hollywood Needs Is More Lawyers And Fewer Original Ideas

FinnJuly 6, 2026July 6, 2026

When the Credits Roll, the Lawyers Take Over: The Wildest Movie Lawsuits in Hollywood History In the never-ending saga of…

Minions and Monsters Bombs Because Of Course It Did This Weekend
Breaking, Movie News

Minions and Monsters Bombs Because Of Course It Did This Weekend

FinnJuly 6, 2026July 6, 2026

Audiences have finally stopped going bananas for the Minions, and it’s about time. The latest installment in the franchise, Minions…

Trump’s Corruption Problem Now Sponsored by Crypto
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Corruption Problem Now Sponsored by Crypto

Big ElephantJuly 6, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Trump’s financial disclosures showed he earned over $2 billion in…

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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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