SEPULTURA’s Last Ever European Show (Until the Next One) is a ‘Must-Miss’
OMG! 😱 Sepultura, those ancient Brazilians👴 with their didgeridoos and tribal beats🥁, are STILL around? After, like, FOUR DECADES of…
Tag: cancer
Red Cross Teams Up With Pill-Popping Ghost-Dodger To Fuel Holiday Blood Drive
OMG! 🚨 The Red Cross, bless their cotton socks (which, incidentally, you can get for FREE!), is teaming up with…
MUDVAYNE’s New Album: Chad Gray’s Got NO CLUE, LOL
In a recent interview with Toilet Ov Hell (yes, you read that right 🚽), MUDVAYNE’s supreme leader, Chad Gray, graced…
Trump, Savior of ‘Dilbert,’ Declares ‘I’m On It,’ Because Cartoonists are People Too, Maybe
Another day, another example of President Trump MAGA-ing his way through the swamp! This time, he’s stepping in to help…
KORN Guitarist BRIAN ‘HEAD’ WELCH Drops Truth Bomb: Religion, Still Messing Things Up After All These Years, Who Knew
Brian “Head” Welch, the dude who bailed on KORN in ’05 ’cause he found Jesus (or maybe Jesus found his…
Immigration Judge Shows Mercy on Chicago Dad Whose Kid Has the Big C
Another sob story from the liberal media! They parade this poor illegal immigrant around because his daughter has cancer. And…
“PICC Flow”: Ama Ríos’ Masterpiece of Boredom
**OMG! 🙄 Ama’s back from her Leukemia AML Cancer diagnosis in September 2021! 🤮 She’s turning pain into ✨art✨ with…
Glacier-chasing yachts for clueless tourists, pink ribbons for profit, and pointless step counting: Read our groundbreaking news
👋 Welcome to 5 Things PM! More like 5 Ways the Liberal Media is Trying to Brainwash You! They want…
Ace Frehley’s Post-Show Autopsy: Still More Interesting Than His Solo Albums
According to TMZ, and who trusts them anyway 😂, original KISS guitarist Ace Frehley’s alleged demise is being “investigated” by…
Biden Nukes Cancer with Rays, Still Kicking Strong
Old Joe’s Still Kicking…Probably Just to Further the Socialist Agenda! The failing CNN reports that Prostate Joe, I mean, Biden,…