Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: cancer

From Cancer Ward to Harvard Yard to Getting Trump-Punched: This Girl Can’t Catch a Break
Elephant Reads CNN

From Cancer Ward to Harvard Yard to Getting Trump-Punched: This Girl Can’t Catch a Break

Big ElephantSeptember 28, 2025September 28, 2025

Another day, another hit piece from Fake News CNN! They’re at it again, folks, trying to smear our great President…

Obamacare: The Reason Your Government Might Just Take a Permanent Vacation, Maybe
Elephant Reads CNN

Obamacare: The Reason Your Government Might Just Take a Permanent Vacation, Maybe

Big ElephantSeptember 17, 2025September 17, 2025

Obamacare Subsidies Extension? More Like a Socialist Handout Extension! Can you believe these Democrats are at it again, trying to…

Tomas Lindberg of AT THE GATES Kicks the Bucket at the Ancient Age of 52
Breaking, Music News

Tomas Lindberg of AT THE GATES Kicks the Bucket at the Ancient Age of 52

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

Tomas “Tompa” Lindberg, the legendary screamer🎤 for Swedish melodic death metal pioneers AT THE GATES, has, like, totally shuffled off…

Iron Maiden’s Nicko McBrain and Bruce Dickinson to haunt the Monsterpalooza Convention—Prepare for a ‘Thriller’ of a Time
Live, Music News

Iron Maiden’s Nicko McBrain and Bruce Dickinson to haunt the Monsterpalooza Convention—Prepare for a ‘Thriller’ of a Time

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 10, 2025September 10, 2025

OMG! 😱😱😱 Is this real life? Is this just fantasy? No, wait, it’s just IRON MAIDEN’s geriatric 👴🏻 drummer, Nicko…

Biden’s Building a Book Palace in Delaware, and Your Wallet’s Invited
Elephant Reads CNN

Biden’s Building a Book Palace in Delaware, and Your Wallet’s Invited

Big ElephantSeptember 6, 2025September 6, 2025

Sleepy Joe’s at it again, folks! Apparently, even after failing to Make America Great Again, he thinks he deserves a…

Hollow Knight: Silksong — Is It Real or Just a Mass Hysteria Event
Breaking, Games News

Hollow Knight: Silksong — Is It Real or Just a Mass Hysteria Event

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Okay, gamers, gather ’round for a hot take hotter than my RTX 6090ti running Crysis on ultra. We’re talking about…

Sebastian Bach Swears on a Stack of Leather Pants He Won’t Let Robots Steal His Screams
Breaking, Music News

Sebastian Bach Swears on a Stack of Leather Pants He Won’t Let Robots Steal His Screams

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sebastian Bach, the vocal gymnast from that band your mom liked, SKID ROW (yeah, that one), has some…

Harvard Loses $2.4B, Now They Can’t Afford Ramen
Elephant Reads CNN

Harvard Loses $2.4B, Now They Can’t Afford Ramen

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Another day, another episode of the radical left crying about President Trump’s genius moves to drain the swamp! Harvard, that…

Menendez Bros Still Got That Slammer Swag: Parole Denied LOL
Elephant Reads CNN

Menendez Bros Still Got That Slammer Swag: Parole Denied LOL

Big ElephantAugust 23, 2025August 23, 2025

Looks like those Menendez brothers, famous for their *totally* justified actions against their parents, won’t be getting out of the…

Phil Campbell, the DEFINITELY-not-heavy-metal guitarist (ex-MOTÖRHEAD)
Breaking, Music News

Phil Campbell, the DEFINITELY-not-heavy-metal guitarist (ex-MOTÖRHEAD)

Chord F. DiscordAugust 20, 2025August 20, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with that well-known journalist Andrew McKaysmith of Scars And Guitars podcast, Phil Campbell, the *former* guitarist…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 8 9 10 … 12 Next

Latest posts

  • Spider-Man Breaks Box Office Records Again Because Of Course It Does
  • Why Hollywood Keeps Making the Same Movies Over and Over
  • Tony Iommi still making riffs because what else is he gonna do
  • Lollapalooza 2026 Sizzles with Jennie and Wolf Alice Sets
  • Phil Collins Near Death Scare in 2024 Due to Excessive Drinking

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.