Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Chicago

Rush’s “Fifty Something” Tour Extends Its Lifespan Because Apparently People Still Listen To That
Breaking, Music News

Rush’s “Fifty Something” Tour Extends Its Lifespan Because Apparently People Still Listen To That

Chord F. DiscordOctober 8, 2025October 8, 2025

Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame (because apparently that still matters?) inductees, Grammy Award-nominated (for what, exactly?) icons, and RUSH…

DRY KILL LOGIC Starts New Album Titled ‘Your Sins Will Find You’ and a Spring 2026 Tour (Good Luck with That)
Breaking, Music News

DRY KILL LOGIC Starts New Album Titled ‘Your Sins Will Find You’ and a Spring 2026 Tour (Good Luck with That)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 8, 2025October 8, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Are you guys STILL talking about DRY KILL LOGIC? 😂 After an “explosive” 💥 2025 (explosive like a…

Chicago and Portland: A Peaceful Getaway or Nah? CNN Asks the Real Questions
Elephant Reads CNN

Chicago and Portland: A Peaceful Getaway or Nah? CNN Asks the Real Questions

Big ElephantOctober 8, 2025October 8, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Our glorious President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is stepping in to clean up the…

Watch: Robert Plant and Some Band Nobody Cares About Embarrass Themselves on ‘Later… With Jools Holland’
Breaking, Music News

Watch: Robert Plant and Some Band Nobody Cares About Embarrass Themselves on ‘Later… With Jools Holland’

Chord F. DiscordOctober 7, 2025October 7, 2025

Oh, look, it’s Robert Plant and his new vanity project, SAVING GRACE, gracing BBC Two’s “Later… With Jools Holland”. Yes,…

PlayStation Cancels Concert Tour, Leaving Fans Wondering If They Imagined the Whole Thing
Games News, Live

PlayStation Cancels Concert Tour, Leaving Fans Wondering If They Imagined the Whole Thing

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 6, 2025October 6, 2025

OMG! 😱 Did you hear? PlayStation: The Concert is CANCELLED! 🤣 All those epic melodies from The Last of Us…

UPSTREAM: More Like DOWNSTREAM amirite
Live

UPSTREAM: More Like DOWNSTREAM amirite

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 6, 2025

**OMG!**🤯 Another Chinese propaganda flick! 🇨🇳 “The way out” directed by Xu Zheng, stars Xu Zheng, Xin Zhilei, Wang Xiao,…

Gamers Assemble to Witness Yet Another Gaming Company Nobody Asked For
Live

Gamers Assemble to Witness Yet Another Gaming Company Nobody Asked For

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 6, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 Gotham Gaming launches in Chicago! 🎉 They promise “inclusive” spaces. Kinowerks, October 10th, 2025, 7-10 PM. Free booze…

Gary Holt Says New EXODUS Album Is ‘Done’ So Prepare for 12 New National Anthems
Breaking, Music News

Gary Holt Says New EXODUS Album Is ‘Done’ So Prepare for 12 New National Anthems

Chord F. DiscordOctober 5, 2025October 5, 2025

So, guess what, losers? EXODUS guitarist Gary Holt, the guy who definitely doesn’t regret not being in the “Big Four,”…

Orange Man Says ‘Hold My Diet Coke’ and Sends in the Troops After Judge Tells Him ‘No Take-Backs’ in Portland
Elephant Reads CNN

Orange Man Says ‘Hold My Diet Coke’ and Sends in the Troops After Judge Tells Him ‘No Take-Backs’ in Portland

Big ElephantOctober 5, 2025October 5, 2025

The radical left is at it again, folks! Our GREAT President Trump is trying to restore order in these Democrat-run…

Chicago Comedy: As If You Had Anything Better to Do
Live

Chicago Comedy: As If You Had Anything Better to Do

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 4, 2025

**OMG! 2-Item Minimum?** 🤣 **Comedy Bar**🙄 **+ Gino’s East**🍕**= Chicago “experience.”**🙄**Come for jokes, stay for deep dish!🍕 First come, first…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 11 12 13 Next

Latest posts

  • Frank Ferrer Leaves Guns N Roses Because Even He Got Bored
  • Graham’s Departure Sparks Thrilling Game of Musical Chairs in Washington
  • JAY-Z’s Yankee Stadium Gig Delayed Due to Security Issue
  • Tom Morello Mourns Loss of His Mother Mary Morello
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on specific date

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}