Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: CNN

Judges Weigh Fate Of Easy At-Home Abortions Nationwide Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Judges Weigh Fate Of Easy At-Home Abortions Nationwide Again

Big ElephantSeptember 9, 2026September 9, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The issue of medication abortion is back in the courts, and…

Senate Races Somehow Still Not Putting Nation To Sleep
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Senate Races Somehow Still Not Putting Nation To Sleep

Big ElephantSeptember 9, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the Senate contests in Maine and Michigan, and let me tell you,…

Midterm polling overload imminent grab a snack and a flowchart
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Midterm polling overload imminent grab a snack and a flowchart

Big ElephantSeptember 9, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about polls, and let me tell you, it’s a wild ride. These days,…

Home Buying Plans Shelved Because Adulting Is Hard
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Home Buying Plans Shelved Because Adulting Is Hard

Big ElephantSeptember 9, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The housing market in the United States is still a mess,…

GOP Candidate’s Classy Comments Exposed In Leaked Videos Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Candidate’s Classy Comments Exposed In Leaked Videos Somehow

Big ElephantSeptember 9, 2026

As I sipped my coffee and read through this article, I couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at the sheer…

GOP Midterm Convention Attendance Apparently Optional This Year Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Midterm Convention Attendance Apparently Optional This Year Again

Big ElephantSeptember 9, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the Republican midterm convention in Dallas, and let me tell you, it’s…

New Hampshire Senate Race Gets Blessedly Less Exciting Candidate
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

New Hampshire Senate Race Gets Blessedly Less Exciting Candidate

Big ElephantSeptember 9, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading the latest news from CNN, and folks, it looks like we’ve got a real…

Trump Admin Scolds Ford For Doing Business With China Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Admin Scolds Ford For Doing Business With China Apparently

Big ElephantSeptember 8, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Trump administration is at it again, expressing “profound concern” to…

Trump Claims Firefighters Saved Him From 9/11 Attack
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Claims Firefighters Saved Him From 9/11 Attack

Big ElephantSeptember 8, 2026

Folks, I’m reading this article about President Trump’s latest 9/11 story, and I’m trying not to spill my coffee. According…

US Taxpayers Get Free $100 Billion Energy Bill Surprise
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Taxpayers Get Free $100 Billion Energy Bill Surprise

Big ElephantSeptember 8, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Iran war has saddled Americans with a massive energy bill…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 22 23 24 … 64 Next

Latest posts

  • David Byrne Warns About Dark Side Of AI Technology
  • Haywire Unveils Ambitious 2027 Global Concert Trek
  • Tips For Reducing Sodium Intake
  • Trump’s DOJ Generously Offers to Ignore Election Results for Friend
  • NFL To Paint ‘Allahu Akbar’ In Endzone For Game In Paris

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.