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Get Ready for the Most Epic Waste of 50 Years of Your Life: Traveller, Because Who Needs Social Skills or a Real Job Anyway
Breaking, Movie News

Get Ready for the Most Epic Waste of 50 Years of Your Life: Traveller, Because Who Needs Social Skills or a Real Job Anyway

FinnSeptember 9, 2026September 9, 2026

Oh boy, are you ready for some super exciting news about a game that’s older than your grandma? 🙄 Because…

US Seeks Smaller Middle East Footprint Because That Worked So Well
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Seeks Smaller Middle East Footprint Because That Worked So Well

Big ElephantSeptember 8, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest developments in the Middle East, and folks, it’s a real mess.…

Wolcen 2 preview sparks mild interest despite tired action RPG formula
Breaking, Games News

Wolcen 2 preview sparks mild interest despite tired action RPG formula

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 5, 2026September 5, 2026

Well, well, well, looks like WOLCEN Studio is trying to make amends with the gaming community by announcing Wolcen 2,…

Mega Man reboot hijacked by gimmicky dual protagonist nonsense again
Breaking, Games News

Mega Man reboot hijacked by gimmicky dual protagonist nonsense again

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 4, 2026September 4, 2026

It’s been a long time coming, but CAPCOM is finally bringing back the Blue Bomber in a big way. Nearly…

Trump Threatens Trade Tantrum Unless Fed Caves to Demands
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Threatens Trade Tantrum Unless Fed Caves to Demands

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump is at it again, threatening to prevent the…

ICE Agent Charged With Lying About Shooting Foreigner Because That’s Normal
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ICE Agent Charged With Lying About Shooting Foreigner Because That’s Normal

Big ElephantSeptember 3, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about this ICE agent, Christian Castro, who’s been federally charged with lying about…

JLab unleashes trendy JBuds to separate you from cash
Breaking

JLab unleashes trendy JBuds to separate you from cash

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 3, 2026September 3, 2026

It’s that time of the year again, folks, when the tech industry gathers to showcase the latest and greatest in…

America Buys Lots of Cheap Trump Coins Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

America Buys Lots of Cheap Trump Coins Apparently

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the new $1 coins featuring President Donald Trump, and I have to…

ICE Ankle Monitor Apparently More Effective Than Therapy
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ICE Ankle Monitor Apparently More Effective Than Therapy

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2026September 2, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The story of Pierre Damas Bel, a 20-year-old Haitian immigrant, is…

Dell peddles pricey new Alienware toys for gamer wallets
Breaking, Games News

Dell peddles pricey new Alienware toys for gamer wallets

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 2, 2026September 2, 2026

It’s that time of the year again, folks, when tech companies gather to show off their latest and greatest at…

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  • Biden and Trump Unite For World Peace Apparently

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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