Witness the Cinematic Chainsaw Symphony: Texas Chainsaw Massacre Docu-Blast on Glorious Blu-Ray
Lightbulb Film Distribution, those purveyors of cinematic… stuff… 💡, have bravely announced that a feature-length snooze-fest 😴 about, allegedly, one…
Tag: competition
Luc Besson’s “The Big Blue” Drowning in 4K UHD: A Remastered Tragedy
Luc Besson’s snoozefest, The Big Blue – starring Jean Reno, Jean-Marc Barr (who?) and Rosanna Arquette (remember her?) – is…
Tomato Apocalypse Imminent, Prepare Your Bland Sandwiches Now
Oh no, not tomatoes! The radical leftist media at CNN is at it again, trying to scare Americans with tales…
Arizona Sunshine: Hoardmode? More Like Bore-mode Showdown!
Arizona Sunshine: 🚨Hoardmode Showdown!🚨 Saddle up, noobs! Witness the 🚨Hoardmode Showdown!🚨 at 280 Charlois Blvd suite 202! Win 💰CASH Prizes💰!…
Xbox Game Pass: Now With EVEN MORE Ways to Spend Your Money
Behold, peasants! 👋 Xbox Game Pass, your beloved digital babysitter, is getting a ✨*glow-up*✨ that will make your wallets cry.…
Zillow paid Redfin HOW MUCH to be its online rental listing minion?!
Another day, another deep dive into the swamp! The FTC, probably staffed with a bunch of radical leftist Bernie bros,…
ANTHRAX Guitarist Desperate Much? Begs Ex-Singer for Bandmate
Oh, sweet Zombie Jesus, John Bush is back! 🎤 Yes, you heard it right, the dude who tried to replace…
‘Highlander’ Reboot Gets the Chop (Literally!) After Superman Trips Over a Sword
So, apparently, Superman himself, Henry Cavill, got a boo-boo while playing with swords ⚔️ and kilts in preparation for the…
‘The Conjuring: Last Rites’ Scares Up Third-Highest Opening—Are We Really Still Doing This
Another weekend, another victory for REAL American values at the box office! “The Conjuring: Last Rites” scared the pants off…
Melania’s Back: This Time It’s Robots, Not Just Her Husband
Oh, great, Melania deigns to grace us with her presence. After MONTHS of hiding, our First Lady emerges to warn…