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Tag: competition

Luc Besson’s “The Big Blue” Drowning in 4K UHD: A Remastered Tragedy
Breaking, Movie News

Luc Besson’s “The Big Blue” Drowning in 4K UHD: A Remastered Tragedy

FinnOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Luc Besson’s snoozefest, The Big Blue – starring Jean Reno, Jean-Marc Barr (who?) and Rosanna Arquette (remember her?) – is…

Tomato Apocalypse Imminent, Prepare Your Bland Sandwiches Now
Elephant Reads CNN

Tomato Apocalypse Imminent, Prepare Your Bland Sandwiches Now

Big ElephantOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

Oh no, not tomatoes! The radical leftist media at CNN is at it again, trying to scare Americans with tales…

Arizona Sunshine: Hoardmode? More Like Bore-mode Showdown!
Live

Arizona Sunshine: Hoardmode? More Like Bore-mode Showdown!

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 1, 2025

Arizona Sunshine: 🚨Hoardmode Showdown!🚨 Saddle up, noobs! Witness the 🚨Hoardmode Showdown!🚨 at 280 Charlois Blvd suite 202! Win 💰CASH Prizes💰!…

Xbox Game Pass: Now With EVEN MORE Ways to Spend Your Money
Breaking, Games News

Xbox Game Pass: Now With EVEN MORE Ways to Spend Your Money

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

Behold, peasants! 👋 Xbox Game Pass, your beloved digital babysitter, is getting a ✨*glow-up*✨ that will make your wallets cry.…

Zillow paid Redfin HOW MUCH to be its online rental listing minion?!
Elephant Reads CNN

Zillow paid Redfin HOW MUCH to be its online rental listing minion?!

Big ElephantSeptember 30, 2025September 30, 2025

Another day, another deep dive into the swamp! The FTC, probably staffed with a bunch of radical leftist Bernie bros,…

ANTHRAX Guitarist Desperate Much? Begs Ex-Singer for Bandmate
Live

ANTHRAX Guitarist Desperate Much? Begs Ex-Singer for Bandmate

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 19, 2025September 19, 2025

Oh, sweet Zombie Jesus, John Bush is back! 🎤 Yes, you heard it right, the dude who tried to replace…

‘Highlander’ Reboot Gets the Chop (Literally!) After Superman Trips Over a Sword
Breaking, Movie News

‘Highlander’ Reboot Gets the Chop (Literally!) After Superman Trips Over a Sword

FinnSeptember 12, 2025September 12, 2025

So, apparently, Superman himself, Henry Cavill, got a boo-boo while playing with swords ⚔️ and kilts in preparation for the…

‘The Conjuring: Last Rites’ Scares Up Third-Highest Opening—Are We Really Still Doing This
Elephant Reads CNN

‘The Conjuring: Last Rites’ Scares Up Third-Highest Opening—Are We Really Still Doing This

Big ElephantSeptember 7, 2025September 7, 2025

Another weekend, another victory for REAL American values at the box office! “The Conjuring: Last Rites” scared the pants off…

Melania’s Back: This Time It’s Robots, Not Just Her Husband
Elephant Reads CNN

Melania’s Back: This Time It’s Robots, Not Just Her Husband

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

Oh, great, Melania deigns to grace us with her presence. After MONTHS of hiding, our First Lady emerges to warn…

Walt Disney World Announces Things (As If We Care) During Play ‘n Preview (Yawn)
Live

Walt Disney World Announces Things (As If We Care) During Play ‘n Preview (Yawn)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

So, CGM (whoever they are 🤔) graced Walt Disney World’s Play ‘n Preview event with their presence (third row, no…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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