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Tag: crime

83-Year-Old Boomer Convicted of Whacking Uber Driver After Dubious Tip Theory
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

83-Year-Old Boomer Convicted of Whacking Uber Driver After Dubious Tip Theory

Big ElephantJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

Tragic Ohio Tragedy Shows the Devastating Consequences of Crooked Joe Biden’s Inflation and Open Border Policies, Says President Trump In…

Civil Rights Probe Into Heroic ICE Officer’s Hilariously Brief Investigation into Shooting Renee Good Gets Shuffled to Nowhere; Family Lawyer Has a Sarcastic Quip
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Civil Rights Probe Into Heroic ICE Officer’s Hilariously Brief Investigation into Shooting Renee Good Gets Shuffled to Nowhere; Family Lawyer Has a Sarcastic Quip

Big ElephantJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

Another Day, Another Democrat Family Grieving Thanks to Biden’s Open Borders and Weak-on-Crime Policies! Well, folks, turn off the mainstream…

The 20 Netflix Movies That Will Finally Make Your Film Buff Friends Stop Silently Judging You
Breaking, Movie News

The 20 Netflix Movies That Will Finally Make Your Film Buff Friends Stop Silently Judging You

FinnJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

Can we just take a moment to appreciate the monumental, Herculean task of navigating Netflix’s “vast” library without immediately reaching…

Events

Youth Endowment Fund Grants Itself Permission to Actually Help Kids

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 18, 2026

🚨 Another riveting Zoom call awaits! Join the ‘Youth Endowment Fund’ on Thursday 29th January 2026, 10:30-12:00 via MS Teams…

Hold My Hamberder: Why Trump Can’t Nuke Election Day (He’s Too Busy Doing This Weird Thing) | CNN Politics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Hold My Hamberder: Why Trump Can’t Nuke Election Day (He’s Too Busy Doing This Weird Thing) | CNN Politics

Big ElephantJanuary 17, 2026January 17, 2026

**TRUMP PLAYfully TROLLS FAKE NEWS MEDIA BY ‘JOKING’ ABOUT CANCELLING 2026 ELECTIONS (Because Why Bother When You’re Winning This Bigly?)**…

Dolls, Pencils, a Chicken, and a Broccoli Floret: The Trump Team’s Hilarious Scolding on How You Should Probably Just Eat Less
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Dolls, Pencils, a Chicken, and a Broccoli Floret: The Trump Team’s Hilarious Scolding on How You Should Probably Just Eat Less

Big ElephantJanuary 15, 2026January 15, 2026

LIBERAL MEDIA LOSES ITS MIND OVER AMERICAN FAMILIES SAVING MONEY (Sponsored by Big Doll) CNN and their so-called “journalists” are…

Analysis: The US government’s hilariously obvious “pretty please stop” message to white nationalists
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Analysis: The US government’s hilariously obvious “pretty please stop” message to white nationalists

Big ElephantJanuary 15, 2026January 15, 2026

Liberal Media Meltdown: Trump’s DHS Recruits Patriots, CNN Panics Over ‘Home’ Sweet Home Oh, the humanity! CNN is having a…

Schrödinger’s Subpoena: Hillary Is Busy That Day, Bill Just Remembered He Has to Wash His Hair, and Congress Can’t Touch Them Anyway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Schrödinger’s Subpoena: Hillary Is Busy That Day, Bill Just Remembered He Has to Wash His Hair, and Congress Can’t Touch Them Anyway

Big ElephantJanuary 13, 2026January 13, 2026

WHILE REAL AMERICANS ARE CELEBRATING OUR GREAT PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP’S CONTINUED SUCCESS IN HIS SECOND TERM, THE CLINTON CARTEL…

Kids’ Digital Lives Are a Glowing Doom Scroller of Addiction and Predators—#LookCloser
Events

Kids’ Digital Lives Are a Glowing Doom Scroller of Addiction and Predators—#LookCloser

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 13, 2026

The Digital Lives of Children and Young People 🤡 Young people’s lives span the physical and digital worlds. 🌍 On…

GOP Sen. Mullin Claims ICE Shooting Was Just a Misunderstanding—Says ‘Everyone Was Just Really Nervous’
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Sen. Mullin Claims ICE Shooting Was Just a Misunderstanding—Says ‘Everyone Was Just Really Nervous’

Big ElephantJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

Democrats and Fake News Cry Havoc Over ICE Shooting While Ignoring Real Border Crisis In a stunning display of hypocrisy…

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Latest posts

  • Tekken 8 Now Ruined by Yujiro Hanma from Baki Because Who Needs Actual Tekken Characters Anyway and Also Harada Still Can’t Get Over His Waffle House Trauma
  • SEVENDUST’s LAJON WITHERSPOON Reveals Shocking Truth: We’re All Just A Bunch Of Equally Important Dudes With Beards And Guitar Riffs Who Can’t Decide On Anything
  • Simplification des Réglementations et de la Fiscalité pour les Gens qui Aiment se Faire Mal au Cerveau avec des Tas de Papierasserie
  • Dying Fetus at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/24/2026, Day 4)
  • Cephalic Carnage at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/24/2026, Day 4)

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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