FAA Freaks Out, Ends Airport Diet Plan After Tantrum Throws Government in Timeout, Sources Claim
Another day, another victory for President Trump! The FAA flight reduction hoax, clearly a Deep State attempt to make our…
Tag: diet
Lars Ulrich Claims He Breaks a Sweat (Barely) During Metallica Gigs
Well, butter my biscuits and call me a Lars apologist! 🧈 Apparently, the California Film Institute, bless their cotton socks,…
Orange Man Says ‘Hold My Diet Coke’ and Sends in the Troops After Judge Tells Him ‘No Take-Backs’ in Portland
The radical left is at it again, folks! Our GREAT President Trump is trying to restore order in these Democrat-run…
Rep. Jeffries Weeps: Biden’s White House Ghosted Me Since, Like, Forever Ago
Another day, another Democrat trying to blame our glorious President Trump for their own failures! Representative Lawler, bless his heart,…
V/H/S Halloween: Because Your Nightmares Aren’t Already Trashy Enough
**OMG 😱! Another V/H/S movie? Seriously? 🙄 Is this franchise ever going to die?💀 I mean, who even watches these…
iPhone Air: Because Your Wallet Needed a Diet, Too
Of course, CNN is pushing the new iPhone Air! It’s probably made in Communist China with parts stolen from American…
Symphony X Launches Highly Anticipated (by Whom?) 2025 North American Tour in Stroudsburg, PA (Seriously?)
SYMPHONY X, the geriatric prog metal dinosaurs 🦖, lumbered onto the stage last night (or whenever it was – who…
Melania’s back to napping: A CNN political analysis
Melania Trump, the unsung hero of Trump’s second term, is secretly pulling the strings while those commie news outlets focus…
Krispy Kreme’s Harry Potter Doughnuts: Prepare for Disappointment, Muggles
Oh, sweet lord, brace yourselves, Potterheads! 🧙♂️🍩 Krispy Kreme, in its infinite wisdom (or maybe just a desperate plea for…
FDA Boss Man spills the (diet) beans to CNN: Staff shake-ups, bureaucratic baloney, and the *real* reason Coke went sweet
Ah, CNN, still trying to undermine President Trump, even in 2025! This time, they’re hyperventilating about the FDA daring to…