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Tag: emo

MOONSPELL finally ran out of vampire novelty checks and had to actually try on their next album far from god after Fernando Ribeiro almost lost his goth card for not being edgy enough
Breaking, Music News

MOONSPELL finally ran out of vampire novelty checks and had to actually try on their next album far from god after Fernando Ribeiro almost lost his goth card for not being edgy enough

Chord F. DiscordJune 15, 2026June 15, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, the vocalist of MOONSPELL, Fernando Ribeiro, has come out and said that he didn’t…

Events

Get Ready for the Most Emo Night of the Year at Sanctuary MOTHERWEEN Goth Night Because Your Black Eyeliner Isn’t Going to Apply Itself

Chuck B. BallsyMay 10, 2026

Sanctuary MOTHERWEEN Goth Night at Myth | 5.10.26 🎃️ 🕷️💀 Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical…

L7 Embarks on ‘The Last Hurrah’ Tour Because You Clearly Didn’t Get Enough of Them the First Time Around
Breaking, Events, Music News

L7 Embarks on ‘The Last Hurrah’ Tour Because You Clearly Didn’t Get Enough of Them the First Time Around

Chord F. DiscordMay 7, 2026May 7, 2026

The iconic feminist rock band L7 has just announced their final world tour, “The Last Hurrah Tour”, and we’re all…

DYING FETUS is Still Alive Somehow and Dragging SANGUISUGABOGG and CROWBAR on Their Geriatric Fall 2026 Tour
Breaking, Events, Music News

DYING FETUS is Still Alive Somehow and Dragging SANGUISUGABOGG and CROWBAR on Their Geriatric Fall 2026 Tour

Chord F. DiscordApril 29, 2026April 29, 2026

Get ready for the most epic, ear-shattering, and face-melting tour of the year, folks! 🤘🏻💥 DYING FETUS and SANGUISUGABOGG are…

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, TOOL, LIMP BIZKIT And PIERCE THE VEIL To Headline 2026 AFTERSHOCK Festival Because Your Inner 2004 Just Called And Wants Its Playlist Back
Hold My Beer (and My Sanity): Aftershock 2026 Just Dropped a 140-Band Nuclear Bomb
Breaking, Events, Music News

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, TOOL, LIMP BIZKIT And PIERCE THE VEIL To Headline 2026 AFTERSHOCK Festival Because Your Inner 2004 Just Called And Wants Its Playlist Back

Chord F. DiscordMarch 4, 2026March 4, 2026

Sacramento, CA – In a move that can only be described as “Y2K panic meets Hot Topic catalog,” Danny Wimmer…

TOMAHAWK To Rip Your Ears Off After 13-Year Nap; Summer Tour Will Be Powered By THE MELVINS’ Cosmic Fuzz
OH, GREAT. TOMAHAWK AND THE MELVINS ARE GOING ON TOUR AGAIN.
Breaking, Events, Music News

TOMAHAWK To Rip Your Ears Off After 13-Year Nap; Summer Tour Will Be Powered By THE MELVINS’ Cosmic Fuzz

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 23, 2026February 23, 2026

In what can only be described as a desperate attempt to relive their glory days, TOMAHAWK is hitting the road…

Events

“Plain White T’s: Still Crooning While Babe Club Strums in the Background—The Soundtrack to Your Basic Life”

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 20, 2026

🎤 Plain White T’s & Babe Club Take Over Daning Amphitheater! 🎶 Get ready to rock your socks off (or…

LIFE OF AGONY Turns ‘Don’t You (Forget About Me)’ Into A Post-Grunge Funeral March For Bender’s Soul
Breaking, Music News

LIFE OF AGONY Turns ‘Don’t You (Forget About Me)’ Into A Post-Grunge Funeral March For Bender’s Soul

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

Brooklyn’s LIFELINE OF AGONY (formerly known as LIFE OF AGONY) has once again proven they can turn any classic into…

The Definitive (And Only) Ranking of Sam Raimi’s Most Bonkers Creations Because Your Opinion is Wrong Forever
Breaking, Movie News

The Definitive (And Only) Ranking of Sam Raimi’s Most Bonkers Creations Because Your Opinion is Wrong Forever

FinnJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

Sam Raimi directs movies with the urgency of a sloth meditating 🐢. In the past 15 years, he’s blessed us…

Riot! at the Disco: Where Eyeliner Meets Mosh Pit [Chicago]
Events

Riot! at the Disco: Where Eyeliner Meets Mosh Pit [Chicago]

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 3, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Emo Kids Reunite to Scream About Feelings They Still Haven’t Processed 🚨 In a stunning turn of events…

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Latest posts

  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Picnic Fest in History aka The Great Nosh NYC Picnic Festival 2026 Where Youll Definitely Eat Too Much Food
  • ISIS Claims Responsibility For Reflecting Pool Algae
  • Obama Library Cruelly Disenfranchises Millions Of Black Americans By Requiring Photo ID For Entry
  • Cringe: Out-Of-Touch Company Posts Pride Logo Like It’s 2014 Or Something
  • Liberal snowflakes freak out over Trump’s impending election domination wins

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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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