Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Exclusive

BREAKING: Old Book About Some Band With a Blimp On It To Arrive In September, Who Cares
Breaking, Music News

BREAKING: Old Book About Some Band With a Blimp On It To Arrive In September, Who Cares

Chord F. DiscordAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

Lansdowne Books, those purveyors of fine literature (and by “fine” we mean “overpriced”), have pre-launched (yes, PRE-launched, like it’s going…

GAMERella: Brainwashing Canadian Youth into Becoming Game Devs (The RIGHT Way, Apparently)
Breaking, Games News, Live

GAMERella: Brainwashing Canadian Youth into Becoming Game Devs (The RIGHT Way, Apparently)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

So, you haven’t heard of GAMERella? Oh honey, bless your heart. 🤣 It’s a Canadian non-profit that’s basically a ✨…

Epica’s Simone Simons Gushes Over Symphonic Metal: ‘It Blew My Tiny Mind’
Breaking, Music News

Epica’s Simone Simons Gushes Over Symphonic Metal: ‘It Blew My Tiny Mind’

Chord F. DiscordAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

In a recent interview with some dude from Brazil 🇧🇷 (who probably thinks samba is metal), EPICA’s vocal powerhouse, Simone…

CNN: Trump’s vanity project highway arrives just in time to maybe not matter in Armenia-Azerbaijan peace talks
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Trump’s vanity project highway arrives just in time to maybe not matter in Armenia-Azerbaijan peace talks

Big ElephantAugust 8, 2025August 8, 2025

Another day, another win for President Trump! While the liberal media obsesses over their latest conspiracy theories, our fearless leader…

Sharon Osbourne Roasts Ridiculous Claims of $190M Charity Windfall: ‘Yeah Right’
Breaking, Music News

Sharon Osbourne Roasts Ridiculous Claims of $190M Charity Windfall: ‘Yeah Right’

Chord F. DiscordAugust 8, 2025August 8, 2025

Sharon Osbourne, the puppet master 🎭 behind the Prince of Darkness 🦇 (RIP, btw, spoiler alert 🚨), has come out…

Andi Deris of HELLOWEEN Was SOOOO Concerned About OZZY’s Health 25 Years Ago, It Kept Him Up at Least 10 Minutes a Night
Breaking, Music News

Andi Deris of HELLOWEEN Was SOOOO Concerned About OZZY’s Health 25 Years Ago, It Kept Him Up at Least 10 Minutes a Night

Chord F. DiscordAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

In an EXCLUSIVE interview with Ernest Skinner of Canada’s *checks notes* Border City Rock Talk (never heard of it), HELLOWEEN…

Lou Gramm FINALLY Realizes He Can Still Milk Those Foreigner Hits For Cash
Breaking, Music News

Lou Gramm FINALLY Realizes He Can Still Milk Those Foreigner Hits For Cash

Chord F. DiscordJuly 31, 2025July 30, 2025

In a recent chit-chat with the illustrious Ryan Vacey, a dude who takes photos and hosts the earth-shattering Beyond The…

Is This the Dawn of Digital VIP Loyalty or Just Another Overhyped Fad?
Breaking, Games News

Is This the Dawn of Digital VIP Loyalty or Just Another Overhyped Fad?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

Oh, honey, listen up! 💅 Apparently, online entertainment platforms are *totally* over those basic loyalty programs. They’re now building these…

Metallica Sells Out, Now Wants Your Blood (Literally)
Breaking, Music News

Metallica Sells Out, Now Wants Your Blood (Literally)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

So, like, METALLICA is STILL trying to be relevant by partnering with the American Red Cross. Because apparently, headbanging isn’t…

Elden Ring Nightreign: Now You Can Die With a Buddy in NEW Duo Expeditions Mode
Breaking, Games News

Elden Ring Nightreign: Now You Can Die With a Buddy in NEW Duo Expeditions Mode

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 25, 2025July 25, 2025

Finally! After what felt like eons of cryptic teases and empty promises, FromSoftware has graced us, the unworthy masses, with…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 33 34 35 … 38 Next

Latest posts

  • Bombers Leave UK Base Suddenly Remembering They Have Homes
  • Alice Cooper Still Trying To Validate 78 Years Of Existence
  • Tom Cruise Suffers One of His Lowest Box Office Openings Ever
  • Chance Weighs Dropping First Name For The Rapper Moniker
  • Trump Looms Large Over Supreme Court’s New Term Again Obviously

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.