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Tag: Faces

Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Barry Keoghan, and Halle Berry Finally Star in a Movie Together in the New Crime 101 Trailer
Breaking, Movie News

Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Barry Keoghan, and Halle Berry Finally Star in a Movie Together in the New Crime 101 Trailer

FinnJanuary 20, 2026January 20, 2026

Oh, look! Another gritty crime thriller where the morally grey anti-hero tries to rob a bank while looking broodingly into…

This Is Not A Test – Because We’ve Finally Decided To Just Give Up And Watch The Trailer For The New Zombie Apocalypse Movie
Breaking, Movie News

This Is Not A Test – Because We’ve Finally Decided To Just Give Up And Watch The Trailer For The New Zombie Apocalypse Movie

FinnJanuary 20, 2026January 20, 2026

Oh great, another zombie flick where a group of “plucky” teenagers tries to survive the apocalypse in a high school.…

The Dramatic, Unhinged, and Deeply Weird Oval Office Meltdowns of Trump’s Second Act (Can Someone Check If the Resolute Desk Is Crying?)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The Dramatic, Unhinged, and Deeply Weird Oval Office Meltdowns of Trump’s Second Act (Can Someone Check If the Resolute Desk Is Crying?)

Big ElephantJanuary 20, 2026January 20, 2026

CLM Headquarters: The Glorious, Totally Normal Goings-On in President Trump’s Oval Office Well, folks, the Mainstream Media is at it…

The New York Game Awards 2026 Winners Have Been Revealed: Silicon Alley’s Finest Pretend We Care About Their Opinions!
Breaking, Games News

The New York Game Awards 2026 Winners Have Been Revealed: Silicon Alley’s Finest Pretend We Care About Their Opinions!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

Hold onto your controllers and prepare your most smug takes, because the NYVGCC just finished their 15th annual ceremony where…

THE BLACK DAHLIA MURDER Wastes No Time Booking Yet Another Tour For 2026, Dragging THE ACACIA STRAIN Along For The Ride
Breaking, Live, Music News

THE BLACK DAHLIA MURDER Wastes No Time Booking Yet Another Tour For 2026, Dragging THE ACACIA STRAIN Along For The Ride

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 13, 2026January 13, 2026

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: The Black Dahlia Murder Is Literally Coming To Your Town To End Your Ears (And Maybe Your…

VIO-LENCE Is Covering Punk So They Can Procrastinate Writing Real Songs—Killian Says He’s Not In A Hurry To Be Relevant
Breaking, Music News

VIO-LENCE Is Covering Punk So They Can Procrastinate Writing Real Songs—Killian Says He’s Not In A Hurry To Be Relevant

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

🎸🔥 In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except everyone with an internet connection), VIO-LENCE…

US State Department Team Shows Up in Venezuela Just as Maduro’s Gone Missing—Coincidence?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US State Department Team Shows Up in Venezuela Just as Maduro’s Gone Missing—Coincidence?

Big ElephantJanuary 9, 2026January 9, 2026

Trump Sends Diplomatic Delegation to Venezuela to Assess Damage Left by Evil Democrat/Leftist Plot to Overthrow Maduro and Destroy Oil…

Aldis Hodge Back in Action: Cross Season 2 Promises More Crime Solving Than Your Ex Has Excuses
Breaking, Movie News

Aldis Hodge Back in Action: Cross Season 2 Promises More Crime Solving Than Your Ex Has Excuses

FinnJanuary 8, 2026January 8, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Prime Video Announces Season 2 of *Cross* — Because Apparently We All Need More Nightmares About Billionaires Getting…

Lucha Libre Wrestling Night Lets You Cheer on Masked Superheroes Who Definitely Aren’t Just Guys in Tights
Live

Lucha Libre Wrestling Night Lets You Cheer on Masked Superheroes Who Definitely Aren’t Just Guys in Tights

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 4, 2026

🚨Breaking: Thrive City Announces New Rules Because Apparently Some Adults Still Act Like Toddlers!🚨 No weapons, booze, pets (unless you’re…

Edison’s New Leaders Sworn In: Chaos, Confetti, and One Very Confused Pigeon
Live

Edison’s New Leaders Sworn In: Chaos, Confetti, and One Very Confused Pigeon

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 4, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Edison’s Newest Power Players Swear Oath While Locals Panic About Parking 🚨 On January 2, 2026, at 11:00…

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  • Lita Ford somehow still alive and making music again

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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