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Tag: Faces

Protesters crash DHS Secretary Noem’s testimony like she was hosting a family reunion they weren’t invited to
Sherrone Moore: The Wokest Coach in Football Gets Fired for Not Being Progressive Enough
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Protesters crash DHS Secretary Noem’s testimony like she was hosting a family reunion they weren’t invited to

Big ElephantDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

In a stunning turn of events that has everyone in the locker room scratching their heads, University of Michigan’s head…

“Wasteman: Witness the Riveting Saga of a Dude Who Can’t Be Bothered to Take Out the Bins”
Breaking, Movie News

“Wasteman: Witness the Riveting Saga of a Dude Who Can’t Be Bothered to Take Out the Bins”

FinnDecember 9, 2025December 9, 2025

Hold onto your prison shivs and DOC-standard toilet wine, film fans! 🍷✨ The cinematic event of the decade* (*decade defined…

Captain Canuck: The Unsung Hero of Maple Syrup and Mediocrity or Just Canada’s Forgotten Wet Sock of a Superhero
Captain Canuck: The Forgotten Maple-Chugging, Moose-Riding, Alien-Powered Politician of the North 🇨🇦🍁
Breaking, Movie News

Captain Canuck: The Unsung Hero of Maple Syrup and Mediocrity or Just Canada’s Forgotten Wet Sock of a Superhero

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 9, 2025December 9, 2025

Oh Canada! You gave us poutine, Justin Bieber, and a hero so polite he probably apologizes to villains after punching…

“Frostpunk 1886: Because Who Needs Sunshine When You Can Freeze Your Butt Off in 11 Bit’s Latest Misery Simulator”
Breaking, Games News

“Frostpunk 1886: Because Who Needs Sunshine When You Can Freeze Your Butt Off in 11 Bit’s Latest Misery Simulator”

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 9, 2025December 9, 2025

🔥 Frostpunk 1886: Because Freezing to Death Wasn’t Depressing Enough in 2018 🔥 Brace yourselves, winter warriors! 11 bit studios…

Japan Gets Unwanted Shake Upgrade: Mother Nature Drops Surprise 7.6 Patch Update
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Japan Gets Unwanted Shake Upgrade: Mother Nature Drops Surprise 7.6 Patch Update

Big ElephantDecember 8, 2025December 8, 2025

While a real 7.6 magnitude earthquake shook Japan’s northeastern coast, CNN rushed in with its own aftershock: a hysterical tremor…

Ex-Fear Factory Drummer Thinks Dave Mustaine’s a Hater Because He Didn’t Fanboy Over His Megadeth Remix
Breaking, Music News

Ex-Fear Factory Drummer Thinks Dave Mustaine’s a Hater Because He Didn’t Fanboy Over His Megadeth Remix

Chord F. DiscordDecember 1, 2025December 1, 2025

In a recent tell-all with Story Mode, the legend himself, former FEAR FACTORY drum-banger Raymond Herrera (also known for composing…

RuPaul Impersonator Lip-Syncs Streisand at a Dive Bar
Events

RuPaul Impersonator Lip-Syncs Streisand at a Dive Bar

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 29, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Plasma, who❓ From RuPaul’s Drag Race (the show that never ends 😵‍💫) is gonna be Barbra Streisand (yas,…

Gobble ‘Til You Wobble: Thanksgiving Restaurant Rush as Cooking at Home Becomes a Luxury for the Elite
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Gobble ‘Til You Wobble: Thanksgiving Restaurant Rush as Cooking at Home Becomes a Luxury for the Elite

Big ElephantNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

New York – Looks like even liberals are ditching their virtue-signaling, organic, locally-sourced Thanksgiving nightmares and heading to restaurants this…

“It’s a Wonderful Life” or “How to Guilt-Trip People into Donating to a Food Pantry”
Events

“It’s a Wonderful Life” or “How to Guilt-Trip People into Donating to a Food Pantry”

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 23, 2025

OMG! 🙄 “It’s A Wonderful Life” 😇 screening after Black Friday shopping! 🛍️💸 An angel 👼 shows a businessman 💼…

Morgan McMichaels Performs at a Bar, World Peace Delayed Again
Events

Morgan McMichaels Performs at a Bar, World Peace Delayed Again

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 22, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 Morgna McMichaels, from RuPaul’s Drag Race, will be lip-syncing Pink songs at Faces Nightclub on 11/23/2025. 🤣 A…

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Latest posts

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  • Hulp ik heb mijn libido kwijt tijd voor een noodexperiment
  • Lea Michele Shows Off Ability To Make Co-Star Cry On Command
  • Fake news saying Trump can’t spin Iran deal as huge win somehow

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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