Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Family

Review: Lee Cronin’s The Mummy – “So Bad it’s Good, or Maybe Just Bad, Either Way You’ll be Sleeping with the Lights On and Questioning Your Life Choices
Breaking, Movie News

Review: Lee Cronin’s The Mummy – “So Bad it’s Good, or Maybe Just Bad, Either Way You’ll be Sleeping with the Lights On and Questioning Your Life Choices

FinnApril 20, 2026April 20, 2026

We’ve got a brand new Mummy movie, and it’s a real wrap 🎥👻! Lee Cronin’s The Mummy is not just…

Why You Need to Drop Everything and Watch ER Immediately or Your Life Will be a Meaningless Void After Finishing The Pitt
Breaking, Movie News

Why You Need to Drop Everything and Watch ER Immediately or Your Life Will be a Meaningless Void After Finishing The Pitt

FinnApril 17, 2026April 17, 2026

The wait is over, folks, and by over, I mean it’s just beginning because The Pitt has wrapped up its…

Meghan Trainor Suddenly Remembers She Has Better Things to Do Than Entertain You So Her Get in Girl Tour is Obviously Cancelled
Breaking, Music News

Meghan Trainor Suddenly Remembers She Has Better Things to Do Than Entertain You So Her Get in Girl Tour is Obviously Cancelled

Chuck B. BallsyApril 17, 2026April 17, 2026

Meghan Trainor has decided to cancel her upcoming Get in Girl Tour, and honestly, who can blame her? 🤣 I…

Oh Joy More Overhyped Movies to Waste Your Life On – April 14 2026 – Greenland is Still Melting The Substitute is Still Subpar and The Girl Who Leapt Through Time is Still Confused
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy More Overhyped Movies to Waste Your Life On – April 14 2026 – Greenland is Still Melting The Substitute is Still Subpar and The Girl Who Leapt Through Time is Still Confused

FinnApril 14, 2026April 14, 2026

It’s time to get excited, folks! 🎉👀 This week’s home video releases are a real treat, with a mix of…

Modern Games Are Clearly Not Designed to Ruin Your Social Life and Turn You Into a Zombie Who Forgets to Eat or Shower for Weeks on End
Breaking, Games News

Modern Games Are Clearly Not Designed to Ruin Your Social Life and Turn You Into a Zombie Who Forgets to Eat or Shower for Weeks on End

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 14, 2026April 14, 2026

Oh boy, are you ready for some juicy gossip about the gaming industry? 🤯 It turns out that modern games…

Breaking News Michael J Fox Found Alive and Kicking But Let’s Be Real We’re All Still Waiting for the Official Twitter Confirmation from Doc Brown Himself
Breaking, Movie News

Breaking News Michael J Fox Found Alive and Kicking But Let’s Be Real We’re All Still Waiting for the Official Twitter Confirmation from Doc Brown Himself

FinnApril 9, 2026April 9, 2026

Oh no, the world almost lost the one and only Michael J. Fox, or so CNN thought 🙅‍♂️! The legendary…

Chuck Norris Dead No Wait Just His Ego Was Killed By All The People Who Actually Thought He Was Invincible
Breaking, Movie News

Chuck Norris Dead No Wait Just His Ego Was Killed By All The People Who Actually Thought He Was Invincible

FinnApril 3, 2026April 3, 2026

Oh no, the internet is lying about Chuck Norris, what a shock 😱. I mean, who wouldn’t want to make…

Oh Joy Another Season of Peaky Blinders Because You Clearly Havent Had Enough of Tom Hardy Looking Moody in a Newsboy Cap With a Brand New Star to Make You Forget About All the Other Stars Theyve Killed Off Already
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy Another Season of Peaky Blinders Because You Clearly Havent Had Enough of Tom Hardy Looking Moody in a Newsboy Cap With a Brand New Star to Make You Forget About All the Other Stars Theyve Killed Off Already

FinnApril 2, 2026April 2, 2026

The Peaky Blinders franchise is back, because you clearly didn’t get enough of it the first time around 🙄. Just…

Cyberpunk Edgerunners Fans Get Ready to Waste Even More of Their Lives on a Board Game Based on a Show About Wasting Your Life in a Dystopian Future
Breaking News: Cyberpunk Edgerunners Fans Rejoice! A New Board Game is Coming to Ruin Your Social Life 🎉👀
Breaking, Games News

Cyberpunk Edgerunners Fans Get Ready to Waste Even More of Their Lives on a Board Game Based on a Show About Wasting Your Life in a Dystopian Future

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 2, 2026April 2, 2026

After the astronomical success of Cyberpunk: Edgerunners, because who doesn’t love a good anime about edgy teens with cybernetic enhancements…

UDO DIRKSCHNEIDER Literally Begs You to Film His Entire Show on Your Phone So He Can Finally Get Some Decent Footage for His Next Concert DVD
Breaking, Music News

UDO DIRKSCHNEIDER Literally Begs You to Film His Entire Show on Your Phone So He Can Finally Get Some Decent Footage for His Next Concert DVD

Chord F. DiscordApril 1, 2026April 1, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture! The metal gods have spoken, and they’re sick of your phone-taking, video-recording, utterly-absent-from-the-moment nonsense 🤦‍♂️! In…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 30 31 32 … 94 Next

Latest posts

  • Yay, 5% Treasury Yield, Just What the Economy Needed Apparently
  • The Warning Announce 2027 World Tour Dates For Europe And North America
  • Kennedy Center Faces Fiscal Collapse Unless Trump Intervenes This Week
  • Oasis Unveils 2027 Tour Schedule
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump claims US leads in AI thanks to his strong presidency

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.