Oh Joy Another Masterful Master of the Universe Trailer to Fuel Our Endless Nostalgia and Disappointment
The most epic battle of all time is coming, and by epic, I mean cringeworthy 🙄. Masters of the Universe…
Tag: Family
Scary Movie gets a poster — because even horror needs a marketing team to scream about it!
Twenty-six years after surviving the most recognizable Halloween costume in cinematic history, the Core Four are back to prove that…
Minecraft Dungeons 2: Now With 100% More Dungeons and 200% More Confusion at Minecraft Live 2026
Well, well, well, look who decided to crawl out from under their cobblestone bed and grace us with their presence.…
Dwayne Johnson’s Live-Action Maui Makes His Grand Entrance in New ‘Moana’ Trailer—Brace Yourself for Rock-Solid Performances!
Oh great, another Disney “live-action” remake, because apparently the 2016 animated classic wasn’t *real* enough for us. Now we’re getting…
SIX FEET UNDER’s JACK OWEN: CHRIS BARNES Is ‘Very Approachable’ And ‘Very Relatable’ (Because He’s Not Actually A Zombie)
In a shocking revelation that has the metal community clutching their chest plates in disbelief, Jack Owen of SIX FEET…
Sparklers and Suspects: The Firework Firm That Lit Up the Plot!
Who needs ISIS when you’ve got Phantom Fireworks? Terrorist Shoppers Caught Red-Handed! Just when you thought it was safe to…
ABC’s Epic Fail: How Much Cash They’re Flushing by Skipping ‘Bachelorette’ Season 22 and Making Us All Sad
Hold on to your artisanal rosé, folks — ABC just learned the hard way that reality TV drama comes with…
Chuck Norris, Walker Texas Ranger Legend, Finally Gets Tired of Kicking Death in the Face at 86
Chuck Norris, the human embodiment of the phrase “Don’t mess with Texas,” has finally met his match—Father Time. Yes, you…
FOO FIGHTERS Drop Banger ‘Caught In The Echo’ Because Your Childhood Needed More Nostalgia
“Caught In The Echo” is now blasting through speakers everywhere like a caffeine-addicted toddler who just discovered a drum kit.…
Disney’s Transformation: From Magic Kingdom to Gas Price Tracking? Chavez’s Ghost Weighs In
Welcome to 5 Things PM, where we celebrate the glorious reign of our Supreme Leader, Donald J. Trump! While the…