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Tag: Family

VR Headset Makes Kid Commit Yeet Mom
Elephant Reads CNN

VR Headset Makes Kid Commit Yeet Mom

Big ElephantJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Oh, Milwaukee, Milwaukee. What’s next? A 10-year-old commie, probably raised on soy milk and socialist propaganda, shoots his mom because…

Lars Ulrich Dares to Turn Over Rocks (and Maybe Find a New Idea or Two with Metallica)
Breaking, Music News

Lars Ulrich Dares to Turn Over Rocks (and Maybe Find a New Idea or Two with Metallica)

Chord F. DiscordJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

So, Lars Ulrich, the intellectual powerhouse behind Metallica (allegedly), did another interview. This time with Variety, because, you know, they’re…

Games Workshop Stops Scalping Limited Siege of Terra By Becoming the Scalper
Breaking, Games News

Games Workshop Stops Scalping Limited Siege of Terra By Becoming the Scalper

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Ah, Games Workshop, those magnificent overlords of plastic crack and lore so dense it could collapse into a black hole…

Ex-ICED EARTH Members (Who?) Drop New Single, Prepare for World to Continue Not Caring
Breaking, Music News

Ex-ICED EARTH Members (Who?) Drop New Single, Prepare for World to Continue Not Caring

Chord F. DiscordJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

ASHES OF ARES, the U.S. “heavy” metal duo featuring ex-ICED EARTH rejects Matt Barlow and Freddie Vidales, is gracing us…

From “I Do” to “I Mow”: She Swore to Uphold the Sacred Tree-Chopping Vows
Elephant Reads CNN

From “I Do” to “I Mow”: She Swore to Uphold the Sacred Tree-Chopping Vows

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Oh, the heartwarming tale of a Christmas tree farm in Wooster, Ohio! It’s just precious how Rita Dush is keeping…

BUCKCHERRY’s JOSH TODD: Sober? More Like Sobering-ly Boring, Am I Right?
Breaking, Music News

BUCKCHERRY’s JOSH TODD: Sober? More Like Sobering-ly Boring, Am I Right?

Chord F. DiscordJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Oh, look, it’s Josh Todd from BUCKCHERRY, still clinging to relevance by talking about his sobriety 🙄. In a recent…

Mama Bear YEETS Trash Panda Away From Tiny Human
Elephant Reads CNN

Mama Bear YEETS Trash Panda Away From Tiny Human

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Another day, another victim of the radical left’s open-borders policy – this time, it’s a five-year-old girl attacked by a…

Family Subjects Traumatized Vietnam Vet to Eagles Tailgate Birthday Hazing
Elephant Reads CNN

Family Subjects Traumatized Vietnam Vet to Eagles Tailgate Birthday Hazing

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Eagles fans celebrate with gluttony and booze! Is this what our Founding Fathers envisioned? Probably not, but at least they’re…

‘Starwalker’ Director Says Woke Mob Can’t Stop the Space Queers
Breaking, Movie News

‘Starwalker’ Director Says Woke Mob Can’t Stop the Space Queers

FinnJune 10, 2025June 10, 2025

Oh honey, you thought the struggle for queer rights was over? 🙄 Well, buckle up buttercup, because Corey Payette’s Starwalker…

‘Incredibles 3’ Director Found—Prepare for Disappointment
Breaking, Movie News

‘Incredibles 3’ Director Found—Prepare for Disappointment

FinnJune 10, 2025June 10, 2025

Oh, honey, hold onto your capes because Pixar is about to unleash Incredibles 3, and it’s gonna be… something. 🍿 Get…

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Latest posts

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  • Fiona Apple Opens Up About Creative Struggles Amid Turbulent Times

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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