Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Family

Family Subjects Traumatized Vietnam Vet to Eagles Tailgate Birthday Hazing
Elephant Reads CNN

Family Subjects Traumatized Vietnam Vet to Eagles Tailgate Birthday Hazing

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Eagles fans celebrate with gluttony and booze! Is this what our Founding Fathers envisioned? Probably not, but at least they’re…

‘Starwalker’ Director Says Woke Mob Can’t Stop the Space Queers
Breaking, Movie News

‘Starwalker’ Director Says Woke Mob Can’t Stop the Space Queers

FinnJune 10, 2025June 10, 2025

Oh honey, you thought the struggle for queer rights was over? 🙄 Well, buckle up buttercup, because Corey Payette’s Starwalker…

‘Incredibles 3’ Director Found—Prepare for Disappointment
Breaking, Movie News

‘Incredibles 3’ Director Found—Prepare for Disappointment

FinnJune 10, 2025June 10, 2025

Oh, honey, hold onto your capes because Pixar is about to unleash Incredibles 3, and it’s gonna be… something. 🍿 Get…

ORBIT CULTURE Announces New Album ‘Death Above Life’ (Because Apparently Life Wasn’t Depressing Enough), Shares Video For
Breaking, Music News

ORBIT CULTURE Announces New Album ‘Death Above Life’ (Because Apparently Life Wasn’t Depressing Enough), Shares Video For

Chord F. DiscordJune 10, 2025June 12, 2025

Oh, great. More metal. 🙄 Sweden’s very own ORBIT CULTURE (never heard of ’em) are gracing us with a new…

Fortnite x The Simpsons: Prepare for Peak Gaming Stupidity
Breaking, Games News

Fortnite x The Simpsons: Prepare for Peak Gaming Stupidity

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 9, 2025June 9, 2025

Oh, sweet RNGesus, another crossover? 🙄 Apparently, according to some “leakers” (aka basement dwellers with too much time on their…

Possessor(s): A Metroidvania So Stylish, It Probably Owes Me Money
Breaking, Games News

Possessor(s): A Metroidvania So Stylish, It Probably Owes Me Money

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 7, 2025June 7, 2025

Okay, so Possessor(s) thinks it’s all that with its “personality” dripping everywhere, like a leaky faucet of demonic… stuff. Potted…

ACCEPT’s Geriatric Romp Through Stockholm: A 2025 Saga of Sunscreen and Stage Diving (Maybe)
Breaking, Music News

ACCEPT’s Geriatric Romp Through Stockholm: A 2025 Saga of Sunscreen and Stage Diving (Maybe)

Chord F. DiscordJune 7, 2025June 7, 2025

Fan-filmed video of ACCEPT’s June 3 gig at Gröna Lund in Stockholm is here! If you’re desperate enough to watch…

DIRKSCHNEIDER & GERIATRIC CREW Drops Schmaltzy New Single And Eye-Bleeding Video ‘Hellbreaker’
Breaking, Music News

DIRKSCHNEIDER & GERIATRIC CREW Drops Schmaltzy New Single And Eye-Bleeding Video ‘Hellbreaker’

Chord F. DiscordJune 7, 2025June 6, 2025

DIRKSCHNEIDER & THE OLD GANG (DATOG), because acronyms are cool 😎, the project featuring former ACCEPT members Udo Dirkschneider (vocals,…

Airbourne Burps Out First “New” Song In Six Years, Still Sounds Like AC/DC
Breaking, Music News

Airbourne Burps Out First “New” Song In Six Years, Still Sounds Like AC/DC

Chord F. DiscordJune 6, 2025June 6, 2025

AIRBOURNE, those lovable Aussie larrikins who haven’t had an original thought since 1975, are back with “Gutsy,” their first new…

Beyonce’s Booboo: Did the Bey-Hive Get a Free Show
Breaking, Music News

Beyonce’s Booboo: Did the Bey-Hive Get a Free Show

Chuck B. BallsyJune 6, 2025June 6, 2025

**Bow down, peasants! 👑 Our benevolent Queen Bey, in her infinite wisdom and grace (and questionable fashion choices, let’s be…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 68 69 70 … 74 Next

Latest posts

  • Queen Needs Brian May’s Permission To Exist Again Somehow
  • Disney’s Latest Soulless Cash Grab Underperforms At The Box Office Somehow
  • The Pretty Reckless in Charlotte, NC(07/12/2026)
  • AC/DC in Charlotte, NC(07/12/2026)
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump praises Lindsey Graham and country’s strength

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}