Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Family

Xbox Just Announced the Most Overhyped Game Ever and It’s a Yakuza Prequel Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough of Those, Plus a Cast That’s More Star-Studded Than Your Grandma’s Quilt and a Release Window That’s Totally Not Getting Delayed
Breaking, Games News

Xbox Just Announced the Most Overhyped Game Ever and It’s a Yakuza Prequel Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough of Those, Plus a Cast That’s More Star-Studded Than Your Grandma’s Quilt and a Release Window That’s Totally Not Getting Delayed

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 7, 2026May 7, 2026

Xbox’s long-awaited Stranger Than Heaven presentation finally dropped, and boy, was it a wild ride 🎢! The biggest question on…

Oh No The Apocalypse Is Near Only 282 Whole Entire US Outdoor Theaters Left To Watch Movies Under The Stars And Eat Overpriced Nachos
Breaking, Movie News

Oh No The Apocalypse Is Near Only 282 Whole Entire US Outdoor Theaters Left To Watch Movies Under The Stars And Eat Overpriced Nachos

FinnMay 7, 2026May 7, 2026

Oh joy, summer is finally here, and you know what that means… it’s time to squeeze into a hot car…

Max Payne: Because Who Needs a Social Life When You Can Spend 100 Hours Replaying the Same Cutscene Over and Over Again in a Desperate Attempt to Recapture the Magic of a Game That Was Only Mildly Interesting in the First Place
Breaking, Games News

Max Payne: Because Who Needs a Social Life When You Can Spend 100 Hours Replaying the Same Cutscene Over and Over Again in a Desperate Attempt to Recapture the Magic of a Game That Was Only Mildly Interesting in the First Place

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 6, 2026May 6, 2026

Let’s talk about the super cool and totally not-at-all-depressing game, Max Payne 🎉😒. I mean, who doesn’t love a good…

The Bear Prequel Episode That Nobody Asked For But You’re Gonna Watch Anyway Because You Have No Life
Breaking, Movie News

The Bear Prequel Episode That Nobody Asked For But You’re Gonna Watch Anyway Because You Have No Life

FinnMay 5, 2026May 5, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some earth-shattering news? 🤯 I mean, I know you’ve all been waiting with…

Oh Great Another Opportunity for Bruce Campbell to Chainsaw His Way Through Hordes of Evil Dead Zombies in Evil Dead Burn
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Great Another Opportunity for Bruce Campbell to Chainsaw His Way Through Hordes of Evil Dead Zombies in Evil Dead Burn

FinnMay 5, 2026May 5, 2026

Breaking news: the most terrifying thing to happen to the Evil Dead franchise is not the demonic possession, but the…

What’s Coming To Xbox Game Pass In May 2026 aka The Same 12 Games We’ve Been Playing Since 2018 But Now With More Bugs
Breaking, Games News

What’s Coming To Xbox Game Pass In May 2026 aka The Same 12 Games We’ve Been Playing Since 2018 But Now With More Bugs

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 5, 2026May 5, 2026

Xbox Game Pass is like the ultimate gamer’s paradise, and it’s about to get even better in May 2026! 🤩…

Oh Joy LEGO Batman is Back to Save the World from Certain Doom with His Awesome Bat-Dancing Skills and His Totally Not Dysfunctional Bat-Family
Breaking, Games News

Oh Joy LEGO Batman is Back to Save the World from Certain Doom with His Awesome Bat-Dancing Skills and His Totally Not Dysfunctional Bat-Family

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 5, 2026May 5, 2026

The LEGO series of games has always been a favorite in my household, and I’m not ashamed to admit that…

KORN’s RAY LUZIER: I Was Too Busy Being a Goody Two Shoes to Get Wasted with Rockstars and Now I’m Stuck with These Guys
Breaking, Music News

KORN’s RAY LUZIER: I Was Too Busy Being a Goody Two Shoes to Get Wasted with Rockstars and Now I’m Stuck with These Guys

Chord F. DiscordMay 4, 2026May 4, 2026

On April 18, KORN drummer and Musicians Institute (MI) graduate Ray Luzier joined Musicians Institute in Hollywood, California for “Pearl…

FEAR FACTORY’s Dino Cazares Finally Decides to Get Off the Couch and Release Some New Music Maybe Possibly Hopefully This Time for Real Guys
Breaking, Music News

FEAR FACTORY’s Dino Cazares Finally Decides to Get Off the Couch and Release Some New Music Maybe Possibly Hopefully This Time for Real Guys

Chord F. DiscordMay 4, 2026May 4, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some super exciting news? 🤩 FEAR FACTORY is coming out with a new…

DISTURBED’s John Moyer Somehow Managed To Not Get Wasted For A Whole Year And Is Still Alive To Tell The Tale
Breaking, Music News

DISTURBED’s John Moyer Somehow Managed To Not Get Wasted For A Whole Year And Is Still Alive To Tell The Tale

Chord F. DiscordMay 4, 2026May 4, 2026

Wow, you guys, it’s a miracle! 🙌 John Moyer, the bassist of DISTURBED, has been sober for a whole year!…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 8 9 10 … 74 Next

Latest posts

  • GENE HOGLAN Trash Talks Own Opinion On CHUCK SCHULDINER Doc
  • AC/DC somehow still touring because boomers need something to do
  • Warframe Gets Yet Another Overhaul Because Why Not
  • RUSH somehow still functioning despite Geddy Lee’s old man illnesses
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump orders flags lowered for Lindsey Graham

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}