Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Five

Because We Clearly Needed Another Conjuring Movie From Warner Bros
Breaking, Movie News

Because We Clearly Needed Another Conjuring Movie From Warner Bros

FinnJuly 14, 2026July 15, 2026

The Conjuring franchise is at it again, because of course it is. The next installment in the never-ending series will…

Blue States Get To Keep Their Money Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Blue States Get To Keep Their Money Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2026

The Trump administration has decided to rescind its effort to freeze $10 billion in childcare and social assistance funding for…

Apple Mulls Foldable iPhone to Milk More Profit from Unsuspecting Fans
Breaking

Apple Mulls Foldable iPhone to Milk More Profit from Unsuspecting Fans

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 14, 2026

For over a decade, we’ve been hearing whispers about a folding iPhone, and it looks like Apple is finally ready…

Industry Breathing Room Found in Casual Games
Breaking, Games News

Industry Breathing Room Found in Casual Games

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 14, 2026

As I sit here, basking in the glow of my screen, I’m reminded that the gaming industry is a never-ending…

RuneScape dusts off player housing with fresh coat of monetization paint
Breaking, Games News

RuneScape dusts off player housing with fresh coat of monetization paint

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 13, 2026

It’s time to get this pixel party started, and what better way to do it than with a healthy dose…

Inflation Sticks Around Like Your In-Laws
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Inflation Sticks Around Like Your In-Laws

Big ElephantJuly 13, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The worst of America’s inflation resurgence may be over, but that…

US Military’s Ammo Stash Apparently Spent On Birthday Party
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Military’s Ammo Stash Apparently Spent On Birthday Party

Big ElephantJuly 12, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest developments in the Iran conflict, and I’ve got to say,…

Lindsey Graham’s Senate Career Ends Abruptly, Not a Moment Too Soon
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Lindsey Graham’s Senate Career Ends Abruptly, Not a Moment Too Soon

Big ElephantJuly 12, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading the news, and I just saw that US Sen. Lindsey Graham, a Republican…

Warsh Assembles Dream Team of Money Nerds
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Warsh Assembles Dream Team of Money Nerds

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one – Federal Reserve Chairman Kevin Warsh just unveiled the members of…

Memphis Task Force on Roll with Another Successful Citizen Interaction
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Memphis Task Force on Roll with Another Successful Citizen Interaction

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2026

So, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news from Memphis, and I come across this story about…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 9 10 11 … 14 Next

Latest posts

  • Air Force Officer Charged For Daring To Criticize Dear Leader
  • Millennials somehow adulting with better credit scores now
  • Target regrets selling creepy kids clown costume apparently
  • Trump Wins Again Because Democracy
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on unspecified date

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.