Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Five

Steam Machine Users Delighted by New Red glow of Impending Doom
Breaking, Games News

Steam Machine Users Delighted by New Red glow of Impending Doom

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 3, 2026July 3, 2026

Oh joy, another hardware launch, another chance for our favorite companies to disappoint us with subpar quality control. The Steam…

ICE is coming for your coworkers now apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ICE is coming for your coworkers now apparently

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the Trump administration’s plans to increase worksite immigration enforcement operations, and I have…

CNN thinks I care about moon bases and coffee perks really
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN thinks I care about moon bases and coffee perks really

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The World Cup is in full swing, and Team USA…

Seattle’s Brilliant Fix: Free Gov Houses For All
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Seattle’s Brilliant Fix: Free Gov Houses For All

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2026

I was sipping my coffee and reading the news when I stumbled upon a story that made me raise an…

Netflix Gets Ripped Off Again But This Time It’s Actually Illegal
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix Gets Ripped Off Again But This Time It’s Actually Illegal

FinnJune 30, 2026June 30, 2026

A filmmaker has been sentenced to 30 months in prison for allegedly misusing $11 million in funds provided by Netflix…

Because What Games Need Are Overpriced Brand Branded Power Banks
Breaking, Games News

Because What Games Need Are Overpriced Brand Branded Power Banks

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 30, 2026June 30, 2026

Because apparently we haven’t milked this franchise enough yet, HoYoverse and UGREEN are teaming up to bring us a limited-edition…

Biggie’s got Fed problems now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Biggie’s got Fed problems now

Big ElephantJune 30, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one – it seems President Trump has suffered a major setback in…

Oh great another shooting happens in Germany
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oh great another shooting happens in Germany

Big ElephantJune 29, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a shooting at a youth welfare facility in Stade, Germany, and let…

Bulletboys Reunite Because Your Midlife Crisis Needs Soundtrack
Breaking News: BULLETBOYS Reunite, World Still Spinning 🤯
Breaking, Music News

Bulletboys Reunite Because Your Midlife Crisis Needs Soundtrack

Chord F. DiscordJune 29, 2026June 29, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my Iron Maiden t-shirt because I’m so shocked… just kidding, I’m not that…

Blaze Bayley desperate to crash Iron Maiden’s Hall of Fame party
Breaking, Music News

Blaze Bayley desperate to crash Iron Maiden’s Hall of Fame party

Chord F. DiscordJune 29, 2026June 29, 2026

Oh boy, you guys, it’s finally happening! Former IRON MAIDEN singer Blaze Bayley is going to be inducted into the…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 11 12 13 Next

Latest posts

  • ICE-T States The Blindingly Obvious About US Being A Dumpster Fire
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump EPA scraps summer gas rules to cut US pump prices
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump cuts foreign aid as Obama-Biden era abuses pile up
  • TRUTH SOCIAL DISPATCH: Trump claims war on fentanyl cuts deaths by over 10000
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump plots crushing economic blockade against Iran

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.