DORO’s Florida Kegger: ‘Warriors Of The Sea’ Album Launch—BYOB and Bring Your Own Inflatable Swordfish
Ahoy, metalheads! 🤘 Get ready to drain your bank accounts for the one and only DORO PESCH! 👸 On November…
Tag: Florida
SAVATAGE Announces 2026 ‘Prelude To Mild Discomfort’ European Tour (Maybe)
OMG! 😱 Those geriatric metal “pioneers” SAVATAGE, bless their hearts, have announced their “Prelude To What?🤔 Dementia?” tour, featuring a…
LA Mayor Taps New Fire Overlord After City Went Full BBQ
Another Day, Another Disaster in Liberal LA! Mayor Karen Bass, likely in cahoots with the Deep State, appoints yet ANOTHER…
Limp Bizkit Bassist (lol) And Co-Founder (who cares?) SAM RIVERS (never heard of him) Dead At 48 (old fart)
Okay, so like, LIMP BIZKIT‘s bassist, Sam Rivers, apparently bit the dust at the ripe old age of 48. Guess…
Fred Durst Cries a River for Sam Rivers in 8 Whole Minutes: Prepare to Roll Your Eyes
Oh my gosh, like, LIMP BIZKIT‘s supreme overlord, Fred Durst, has graced us with a super-emotional 😭 (not really) tribute…
Monsters & Cult Classics: Prepare for Brain-Melting Horrorthon Movie Mayhem
**OMG! 🙄 Join the “Monsters vs Cult Classic Horrorthon Marathon”!** Dracula (1931) at 7:30 PM? 🧛♂️ Seriously? Followed by Frankenstein…
Tomato Apocalypse Imminent, Prepare Your Bland Sandwiches Now
Oh no, not tomatoes! The radical leftist media at CNN is at it again, trying to scare Americans with tales…
TMNT Does a ‘Home Alone’ Bit? Cowabunga, I Guess
Oh, sweet merciful pepperoni! 🍕 The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, those pizza-guzzling, sewer-dwelling reptiles, are apparently slumming it in New…
SEPULTURA Fires Current Drummer, Hires Back Guy They Fired, Extends Farewell Tour to the Year 3000
Brazilian/American metallers SEPULTURA, those geriatric rockers who refuse to die, have confirmed that drum prodigy (or victim?) Greyson Nekrutman will…
“Military Brats: School System’s Favorite Game of Hide-and-Go-Seek”
Oh, the Deep State is at it again, folks! These Florida teens, probably indoctrinated by their leftist professors, are trying…