ALICE COOPER, 77, CLAIMS HIS BEST SHOWS ARE STILL AHEAD OF HIM, PROBABLY FEATURING OXYGEN TANKS AND GERIATRIC SHOCK ROCK
Imagine being 77 years old, having more energy than a toddler on a sugar rush, and still pretending to be…
Tag: Florida
Trump Declares Super Bowl Too Far Away, Sends His condolences to the Families of those forced to travel the treacherous 2 miles from his Mar-a-Lago estate to the nearest stadium
President Trump Makes the Smartest Decision of His Second Term: Why Would He Waste Time in Deep-Blue San Francisco Watching…
Florida Man Discovers Qur’an Is Not a New UberEats Menu, Causes Nationwide Confusion
Get ready, Portland! 🎤 The Qur’an Tour is rolling into Smith Memorial Student Union on January 25 for a 4-hour…
Legendary Extreme Metal Drummer NICK BARKER: ‘I Hope To Get A New Kidney Sometime Later This Year, And Maybe A New Cymbal’
Brace yourselves, drumming degenerates, because the metal beat-keeper himself, Nick Barker, is currently locked in a death match with his…
Shipwrecked Music Festival 2026 Leaves 60,000 Fans Stranded on Desert Island with No Uber Pickup
Garrr, prepare ye ears for the plunder of eardrums at the Shipwrecked Music Festival! ☠️⚓️ On Saturday, January 31st, 2026,…
Hippies Literally Shipwrecked on Desert Island After Paying $2K for VIP Tickets
Get ready to be absolutely shipwrecked by this festival! 🏴☠️ Yarrr, walk the plank straight to the Cuban Club (2010…
The Fast and the Flurious: Get Ready to Debunk Physics and Your Lunch at Universal Florida
Universal Orlando has finally decided to listen to the screams of a generation and replace the ear-bleeding auditory nightmare of…
5 Things to Know for Jan. 20: Davos 2026, Anti-ICE protests, Epstein files, Solar radiation storm, Indiana Hoosiers
While the liberal media whines about “geopolitical stability” and “diplomatic norms,” President Trump is playing 4D chess. The White House…
Adrian Smith Confirms Nicko McBrain Was Slowly Dying On The Throne And They Had To Unplug His Life Support Just To Finish The Tour
Well, folks, gather ’round the digital campfire as we dissect the latest chapter in the Heavy Metal Bible: Iron Maiden…
S.W.A.G. “The Art Experience” 2026: Now With 50% More Actual Art and Less Pretentious Bullshit
SWAG Art Experience: Art Basel’s cooler, Orlando cousin is back! 🎨✨ Mark your calendars for **December 6, 2024**, from **3pm…