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Cocoa & Brown Sugar: The Sweetest Brown Affair Since Chocolate Chip Cookies
Events

Cocoa & Brown Sugar: The Sweetest Brown Affair Since Chocolate Chip Cookies

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 28, 2025

All Brown Affair promises a wild night of Southern Soul & Line Dancing that’ll make your boots squeal with joy!…

Mihalidaze debuted as a Fiddlehead and the audience couldn’t tell if it was a concert or a cooking show
Events

Mihalidaze debuted as a Fiddlehead and the audience couldn’t tell if it was a concert or a cooking show

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 28, 2025

🚨 ATTENTION HUMANS OF EARTH: MIHALI IS HERE TO SAVE YOUR SOULS (AND YOUR PLAYLISTS) 🌿🎸 📅 Mark your calendars:…

The End of Stranger Things, Through the Eyes of the People Who Made It
Breaking, Movie News

The End of Stranger Things, Through the Eyes of the People Who Made It

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 26, 2025December 26, 2025

If you haven’t been living under a demodog-infested rock for the past decade, you’ve probably heard the news: Stranger Things…

New Year’s Eve Rooftop Bash: Come for the Harbor Views Stay for the Open Bar and Questionable Life Choices
Events

New Year’s Eve Rooftop Bash: Come for the Harbor Views Stay for the Open Bar and Questionable Life Choices

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 23, 2025

🍾 The Great Bottle Service Migration of 2025: Harbor Rooftop Declares War on Wallets, December 26th! 🎉💸 In a bold…

Pete Koller Claims Lou Koller Finally Sheds 70 Pounds of Tumor Weight
Breaking, Music News

Pete Koller Claims Lou Koller Finally Sheds 70 Pounds of Tumor Weight

Chord F. DiscordDecember 23, 2025December 23, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Lou Koller’s Esophagus is Having a Midlife Crisis and Started a Tumor Cult 🚨 😱🍔➡️🦠 In a plot…

Diving Headfirst Into The Gold River Project—Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Chaos
Breaking, Games News

Diving Headfirst Into The Gold River Project—Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Chaos

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 22, 2025December 22, 2025

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Another Survival Game Wants to Kill You (And It’s Probably Your Fault) 🚨 In a shocking turn…

Paramount’s New Deal to Warner Bros. Discovery: Larry Ellison Promises $40 Billion and a Free Trip to Mars
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Paramount’s New Deal to Warner Bros. Discovery: Larry Ellison Promises $40 Billion and a Free Trip to Mars

Big ElephantDecember 22, 2025December 22, 2025

What a Time to Be Alive: Larry Ellison Pledges His Entire Fortune to Save Hollywood from the Streaming Apocalypse In…

Review: Red Sonja – “a fun-enough, bucket of popcorn watch” – because apparently we still pay to see bad CGI and worse dialogue
Breaking, Movie News

Review: Red Sonja – “a fun-enough, bucket of popcorn watch” – because apparently we still pay to see bad CGI and worse dialogue

FinnDecember 21, 2025December 21, 2025

Prepare yourself for the cinematic masterpiece that’s about to shatter your expectations into a million glittering shards of disappointment and…

Watch: Original BULLETBOYS Lineup Finally Stops Avoiding Each Other Long Enough to Play a Gig
Breaking, Music News

Watch: Original BULLETBOYS Lineup Finally Stops Avoiding Each Other Long Enough to Play a Gig

Chord F. DiscordDecember 21, 2025December 21, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Bulletboys Reunite After Four Years, Fans Experience Both Excitement and Existential Dread 🚨 In a stunning turn of…

Sander Kleinenberg drops beats so hard, Gootimes 2626 might need a chiropractor
Events

Sander Kleinenberg drops beats so hard, Gootimes 2626 might need a chiropractor

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 21, 2025

💥 BREAKING: Sander Kleinenberg Descends Upon GoodTimes 2626 to Save Us From Christmas Carols 💀 🎶 Sunday, Dec 21st |…

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Latest posts

  • Batman: Because Gotham Wasnt Already Sick of Him Season Two Trailer Finally Arrives to Annoy the Joker Some More
  • BREAKING: 10 Days In China and I Still Haven’t Found the Great Wall or a Decent Wi-Fi Connection
  • Rockstar’s Greed Reaches New Heights with $80 GTA 6 Base Model
  • New Raid Immortality Spray Curses Insects To Watch Everyone They Love Die
  • To Raise Stakes, U.S. Army Given One Pick In Each Round Of NBA Draft

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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