Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Hardcore

Spare a Thought for the Minnesota State Senator Who Had to Witness the Unprecedented Horror of People Simply Feeling Fear After a Killing
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Spare a Thought for the Minnesota State Senator Who Had to Witness the Unprecedented Horror of People Simply Feeling Fear After a Killing

Big ElephantJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

Minneapolis Mayor Begs President Trump for Help as Liberal Policies Turn City into ‘Hellscape’ In a stunning admission of failure,…

Return To Silent Hill Gets Buried Alive by Fans and Critics in a Glorious, Dumpster-Fire of a Launch
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Return To Silent Hill Gets Buried Alive by Fans and Critics in a Glorious, Dumpster-Fire of a Launch

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

🚨 SILENT SCREAMS: ‘Return to Silent Hill’ Crashes and Burns, Proving Some Games Should Stay Digital 🚨 Oh, what a…

EXODUS Finds Brand New, Unheard-of Way to Write Riffs, Names Band After a Big Guy
Breaking, Music News

EXODUS Finds Brand New, Unheard-of Way to Write Riffs, Names Band After a Big Guy

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

Hold onto your studded leather jackets and prepare your necks for the ultimate whiplash, because the thrash titans known as…

Hear CRO-MAGS’ Newly Re-Recorded Version Of Band’s Classic Song ‘Hard Times’ (Because Apparently The ’80s Called And Wants Its Sound Back)
Breaking, Music News

Hear CRO-MAGS’ Newly Re-Recorded Version Of Band’s Classic Song ‘Hard Times’ (Because Apparently The ’80s Called And Wants Its Sound Back)

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 9, 2026January 9, 2026

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: CRO-MAGS Re-Record “Hard Times” Because Apparently, Legal Drama is Harder Than Hardcore Mosh Pits 🚨 In a…

Pete Koller Claims Lou Koller Finally Sheds 70 Pounds of Tumor Weight
Breaking, Music News

Pete Koller Claims Lou Koller Finally Sheds 70 Pounds of Tumor Weight

Chord F. DiscordDecember 23, 2025December 23, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Lou Koller’s Esophagus is Having a Midlife Crisis and Started a Tumor Cult 🚨 😱🍔➡️🦠 In a plot…

AGNOSTIC FRONT’s ROGER MIRET Ignores Critics Like His Neighbor’s BBQ Smoke—Just Pretends It Doesn’t Exist
Breaking, Music News

AGNOSTIC FRONT’s ROGER MIRET Ignores Critics Like His Neighbor’s BBQ Smoke—Just Pretends It Doesn’t Exist

Chord F. DiscordDecember 22, 2025December 22, 2025

🎸🔥 In a shocking turn of events that absolutely NO ONE saw coming (except literally everyone with ears), AGNOSTIC FRONT’s…

Netflix Is Bringing FIFA Back as a Mobile Game Ahead of the 2026 World Cup
Breaking, Games News

Netflix Is Bringing FIFA Back as a Mobile Game Ahead of the 2026 World Cup

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 17, 2025December 17, 2025

🎬 Hold onto your snack bowls, folks—Netflix just dropped a bombshell that’s about to turn your living room into a…

Crooked Cult in Charlotte, NC (12/16/2025)
Videos

Crooked Cult in Charlotte, NC (12/16/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 16, 2025

Thrash Metal/Hardcore from Fayetteville, North Carolina Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan…

POWER TRIP And MUNICIPAL WASTE To Headline 2026 Decibel Magazine Metal & Beer Fest: Philly Because Apparently Fermented Hops And Feedback Aren’t Already A Thing
Events, Music News

POWER TRIP And MUNICIPAL WASTE To Headline 2026 Decibel Magazine Metal & Beer Fest: Philly Because Apparently Fermented Hops And Feedback Aren’t Already A Thing

Chord F. DiscordDecember 16, 2025December 16, 2025

Brace your livers and your necks, ye faithful metalheads and hopheads, because the apocalypse is coming… again! And this time,…

Bleach: Rebirth of Souls Summons Yhwach DLC Just in Time to Ruin Your Holidays on December 10
Breaking, Games News

Bleach: Rebirth of Souls Summons Yhwach DLC Just in Time to Ruin Your Holidays on December 10

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 1, 2025December 1, 2025

Oh, look, another cash grab! 💰 Bleach: Rebirth of Souls, the game nobody asked for, is gracing us with a…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 4 … 9 Next

Latest posts

  • Cringe: Out-Of-Touch Company Posts Pride Logo Like It’s 2014 Or Something
  • Liberal snowflakes freak out over Trump’s impending election domination wins
  • Liberal actor whines about Juneteenth being supposedly erased by Trump
  • Fake news Italy PM claims Trump lied about her begging him
  • Get Ready for a Summer of Fake Smiles and Pretentious Book Club Discussions with Kristina Forest’s The Summer Girlfriend

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}