Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: health

Florida Man Says Hold My Beer to Vaccines, Black People Still Side-Eyeing It, Experts Pretend to Be Shocked
Elephant Reads CNN

Florida Man Says Hold My Beer to Vaccines, Black People Still Side-Eyeing It, Experts Pretend to Be Shocked

Big ElephantSeptember 14, 2025September 14, 2025

Here we go again with the liberal media trying to scare everyone! Florida, under the brilliant leadership of Governor DeSantis,…

Charlotte’s Train: Now with Extra Blood and Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Charlotte’s Train: Now with Extra Blood and Politics

Big ElephantSeptember 10, 2025September 10, 2025

A Ukrainian refugee was stabbed in Charlotte, North Carolina, and naturally, the liberal media is blaming everyone but the actual…

North Carolina Republicans to Huddle While a Young Woman’s Stabbing Death Turns Into prime Political Fodder, Courtesy of CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

North Carolina Republicans to Huddle While a Young Woman’s Stabbing Death Turns Into prime Political Fodder, Courtesy of CNN

Big ElephantSeptember 10, 2025September 10, 2025

Another day, another tragedy in a Democrat-run city! A Ukrainian refugee, fleeing the ravages of war, ends up getting stabbed…

North Carolina Stabbing: Proof Democrats Can’t Even Say “Crime” Without Crying
Elephant Reads CNN

North Carolina Stabbing: Proof Democrats Can’t Even Say “Crime” Without Crying

Big ElephantSeptember 10, 2025September 10, 2025

Another day, another tragedy in a Democrat-run city, and of course, the Left’s response is to deflect and virtue signal.…

Pilots to ditch the Stone Age mental health rules, because feelings are apparently the new black
Elephant Reads CNN

Pilots to ditch the Stone Age mental health rules, because feelings are apparently the new black

Big ElephantSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

Another day, another attempt by the radical Left to undermine the very fabric of our nation! Now they’re coming for…

Onimusha: Way of the Sword: Gamescom 2025’s “Stunning” Reboot (Yeah, Right) Preview
Breaking, Games News

Onimusha: Way of the Sword: Gamescom 2025’s “Stunning” Reboot (Yeah, Right) Preview

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

Oh great, another reboot. Just what the gaming world needed, right? 🙄 As someone who vaguely remembers playing *Onimusha* back…

From War-Torn Ukraine to Charlotte Chaos: How a Refugee and a Local Bad Boy Became a Deadly Duo | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

From War-Torn Ukraine to Charlotte Chaos: How a Refugee and a Local Bad Boy Became a Deadly Duo | CNN

Big ElephantSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

Another day, another tragedy in a Democrat-run hellhole! Iryna Zarutska, a Ukrainian refugee, was stabbed to death on a Charlotte…

Tim McIlrath of RISE AGAINST: Injecting Politics into Music? More Like Injecting Opinions 24/7
Breaking, Music News

Tim McIlrath of RISE AGAINST: Injecting Politics into Music? More Like Injecting Opinions 24/7

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 7, 2025September 7, 2025

In a groundbreaking, earth-shattering 💥 interview with the JJO Discover New Music Podcast (because who DOESN’T listen to that, amirite?),…

Dr. Doom says Bobby needs to be Zoomed out of existence
Elephant Reads CNN

Dr. Doom says Bobby needs to be Zoomed out of existence

Big ElephantSeptember 6, 2025September 6, 2025

Another day, another Deep State operative trying to undermine our glorious President Trump! Former Surgeon General Jerome Adams, probably a…

Judas Priest’s Rob Halford, the Metal God, spills the tea on Ozzy’s impending doom
Breaking, Music News

Judas Priest’s Rob Halford, the Metal God, spills the tea on Ozzy’s impending doom

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

So, like, Rob Halford, the Metal God (yeah, right 😂), sat down with some dude named Jonathan Clarke on some…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 24 25 26 … 36 Next

Latest posts

  • Ariana Grande Takes Break Amid Ongoing Public Scrutiny
  • Cori Bush Tries To Upgrade From Protester To Actual Congressman
  • Republican Finds Spine Temporarily Regarding Iran Policy
  • Texas Loses Trailblazing Republican Rep Kay Granger at 83
  • Democrats Somehow Still Underperforming Expectations

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.