Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: HELP

MSI unleashes AI infused box of pricey tech on unsuspecting Canadians
Breaking

MSI unleashes AI infused box of pricey tech on unsuspecting Canadians

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 2, 2026October 2, 2026

Oh joy, another PC designed to help businesses “innovate confidently” and “build AI-powered workflows” – because that’s exactly what we…

Cop Who Mistook Apartment Gets Early Get Out of Jail Free Card
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Cop Who Mistook Apartment Gets Early Get Out of Jail Free Card

Big ElephantOctober 2, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Amber Guyger, the Dallas police officer who was convicted of killing a Black…

Amazon Plane Successfully Lands After Brief Sightseeing Tour of Miami
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Amazon Plane Successfully Lands After Brief Sightseeing Tour of Miami

Big ElephantOctober 1, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. An Amazon Air cargo plane careened off the runway in Miami…

Trump Lovingly Roasts Paxton as Total Pain
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Lovingly Roasts Paxton as Total Pain

Big ElephantOctober 1, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump jokingly described Texas Republican Senate candidate Ken Paxton…

Man allegedly harasses podcaster because opinions were somehow still online
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Man allegedly harasses podcaster because opinions were somehow still online

Big ElephantOctober 1, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news, and folks, this one’s a doozy. The Justice Department has…

Mortgage rates skyrocket to 7.28% because who needs savings anyway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mortgage rates skyrocket to 7.28% because who needs savings anyway

Big ElephantOctober 1, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about mortgage rates, folks, and let me tell you, it’s been a wild ride.…

Trump’s Name Tanks Kennedy Center Donations by Over 100 Percent Suddenly
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Name Tanks Kennedy Center Donations by Over 100 Percent Suddenly

Big ElephantOctober 1, 2026

The Kennedy Center, one of America’s most iconic performing arts institutions, is facing a financial crisis, and folks, I almost…

America About To Get Whole Lot Less Holy
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

America About To Get Whole Lot Less Holy

Big ElephantOctober 1, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A new documentary series, “Christianity at a Crossroads,” is exploring the…

Helicopter Crash Kills 2 Because California Traffic Wasn’t Deadly Enough
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Helicopter Crash Kills 2 Because California Traffic Wasn’t Deadly Enough

Big ElephantOctober 1, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a medical helicopter that crashed off Catalina Island near Los Angeles, and…

Troy Jackson Sorry for Being Super Edgy in Maine
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Troy Jackson Sorry for Being Super Edgy in Maine

Big ElephantSeptember 30, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and trying to make sense of this article about Troy Jackson, the Democratic nominee in Maine’s…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 … 91 Next

Latest posts

  • Spin of the Day: The puzzle features eight pears for players to solve. — 87% Journalism Not Found
  • Trump suddenly loves voting methods he used to hate apparently
  • Taylor Momsen Joins Soundgarden Members at Power to the People Fest
  • Tennessee Prisons Chief Resigns After Botched Execution Attempt Apparently
  • Serj Tankian and Tom Morello Team Up for Audioslave Classic

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.