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“2020 Election Truthers and Their MAGA Minions: Taking Over the Asylum”
Elephant Reads CNN

“2020 Election Truthers and Their MAGA Minions: Taking Over the Asylum”

Big ElephantOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

Folks, can you believe the audacity of the liberal media? They’re trying to make heroes out of election riggers and…

Spinal Tap’s Stonehenge Debacle: Still Milking It in 2026
Breaking, Music News

Spinal Tap’s Stonehenge Debacle: Still Milking It in 2026

Chord F. DiscordOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

Bleecker Street, bless their tiny, misguided hearts, has apparently thrown some cash at Vertigo Live and that poor sap Rob…

Duff McKagan on Iggy Pop: “No Duh, He’s the Real Deal (Unlike My Hair Dye)”
Breaking, Music News

Duff McKagan on Iggy Pop: “No Duh, He’s the Real Deal (Unlike My Hair Dye)”

Chord F. DiscordOctober 21, 2025October 21, 2025

DUFF MCKAGAN, the bassist from that band your mom likes, GUNS N’ ROSES (yeah, them), decided to grace us with…

North Carolina Senate bravely gerrymanders its way to more Republican seats, democracy cries in the corner
Elephant Reads CNN

North Carolina Senate bravely gerrymanders its way to more Republican seats, democracy cries in the corner

Big ElephantOctober 21, 2025October 21, 2025

North Carolina Republicans are doing their part to MAGA! The state Senate approved a new congressional map to help secure…

From Bagpipes to Prison Bars: American Tourist’s Scottish Detour Ends in Utah Jail Cell
Elephant Reads CNN

From Bagpipes to Prison Bars: American Tourist’s Scottish Detour Ends in Utah Jail Cell

Big ElephantOctober 21, 2025October 21, 2025

Another day, another victory for justice! A Utah judge has finally thrown the book at Nicholas Rossi, a man who…

Slipknot’s Sid Wilson Barfs Out VOMIT FACE RECORDS Because Why Not
Breaking, Music News

Slipknot’s Sid Wilson Barfs Out VOMIT FACE RECORDS Because Why Not

Chord F. DiscordOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

Sid Wilson, the guy who mashes buttons in SLIPKNOT (yeah, that band your mom hates 👵), has launched Vomit Face…

Limp Bizkit Bassist (lol) And Co-Founder (who cares?) SAM RIVERS (never heard of him) Dead At 48 (old fart)
Breaking, Music News

Limp Bizkit Bassist (lol) And Co-Founder (who cares?) SAM RIVERS (never heard of him) Dead At 48 (old fart)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Okay, so like, LIMP BIZKIT‘s bassist, Sam Rivers, apparently bit the dust at the ripe old age of 48. Guess…

W.A.S.P. Still Alive? See ‘Em in Oulu, Finland – Album ONE Alive! (Barely) Fall 2025 European Tour (Maybe Their Last!)’
Breaking, Music News

W.A.S.P. Still Alive? See ‘Em in Oulu, Finland – Album ONE Alive! (Barely) Fall 2025 European Tour (Maybe Their Last!)’

Chord F. DiscordOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because W.A.S.P., those geriatric glam rockers who somehow haven’t kicked the bucket yet, graced Tullisali in…

Manor of Darkness: Prepare to Rewatch Your Life (and Die a Lot)
Breaking, Movie News

Manor of Darkness: Prepare to Rewatch Your Life (and Die a Lot)

FinnOctober 17, 2025October 17, 2025

Oh, look, another “horror” movie hitting the digital shelves! 🙄 Ridder Films, bless their cotton socks, have joined forces with…

Ace Frehley’s Officially an Ancient Alien at 74
Breaking, Music News

Ace Frehley’s Officially an Ancient Alien at 74

Chord F. DiscordOctober 17, 2025October 17, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here, folks! 🎸 Our favorite Spaceman, Ace Frehley, has officially crash-landed on that…

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Latest posts

  • New Yorkers Excited To See How Never-Before-Tried Government Called ‘Socialism’ Turns Out
  • Avengers Endgame Now With 100 More Minutes of Tony Stark Looking Sad and Brooding
  • You Won’t Believe Who Trump Chatted With Right Before That Settlement
  • In Powerful Act Of Protest, Liberals Begin Adding Algae To Drinking Water
  • Meta’s AI Glasses Get Cheapening Facelift and Desperate Celebrity Endorsement

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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