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Tag: HELP

Rhino: Tom Hardy’s Whispering Sweet Nothings to a Horned Beast – Prepare for Eco-Thrills!
Breaking, Movie News

Rhino: Tom Hardy’s Whispering Sweet Nothings to a Horned Beast – Prepare for Eco-Thrills!

FinnOctober 29, 2025October 29, 2025

Oh, look, another “eco-thriller”! 🙄 Because we haven’t had enough of those, right? This one’s about rhinos, because apparently, pandas…

Nikki Sixx Gushes Over Ozzy Doc: “I Heart Him More Than My Hair Dye”
Breaking, Music News

Nikki Sixx Gushes Over Ozzy Doc: “I Heart Him More Than My Hair Dye”

Chord F. DiscordOctober 28, 2025October 28, 2025

Nikki Sixx, the bassist from that band your mom likes, MÖTLEY CRÜE, has apparently watched a documentary about Ozzy Osbourne.…

CNN: Shutdown might make you miss out on your government-sponsored snackies
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Shutdown might make you miss out on your government-sponsored snackies

Big ElephantOctober 28, 2025October 28, 2025

Oh, the horror! Apparently, if Trump wasn’t still MAGA-ing America, millions might miss out on their precious government-sponsored groceries! The…

Trump’s ICE Meltdown: Raids Getting Him Down
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s ICE Meltdown: Raids Getting Him Down

Big ElephantOctober 28, 2025October 28, 2025

Here we go again with the Fake News peddlers at CNN! Apparently, ICE isn’t arresting enough illegal aliens to satisfy…

Black Lace Doc Trailer: Still Pushing Pineapples or Just Selling Nostalgia One Fruit at a Time
Breaking, Movie News

Black Lace Doc Trailer: Still Pushing Pineapples or Just Selling Nostalgia One Fruit at a Time

FinnOctober 27, 2025October 27, 2025

Tull Stories and Labor of Love Films (lol, the irony) are inflicting upon the world Still Pushing Pineapples, a “moving…

Lexington Venue: Where Winter Never Ends (Help Us)
Events

Lexington Venue: Where Winter Never Ends (Help Us)

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 25, 2025

OMG! 🙄 “FOUR WINTERS” on October 26th at Lexington Venue! Prepare for an “unforgettable” cinematic experience! 🤣 Director Julia Mintz…

“It Was Just An Accident” – Yeah Right, Sure It Was, Jafar
Breaking, Movie News

“It Was Just An Accident” – Yeah Right, Sure It Was, Jafar

FinnOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

MUBI, bless their cotton socks, has decided to inflict upon us a new trailer and some allegedly “new” artwork for…

“2020 Election Truthers and Their MAGA Minions: Taking Over the Asylum”
Elephant Reads CNN

“2020 Election Truthers and Their MAGA Minions: Taking Over the Asylum”

Big ElephantOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

Folks, can you believe the audacity of the liberal media? They’re trying to make heroes out of election riggers and…

Spinal Tap’s Stonehenge Debacle: Still Milking It in 2026
Breaking, Music News

Spinal Tap’s Stonehenge Debacle: Still Milking It in 2026

Chord F. DiscordOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

Bleecker Street, bless their tiny, misguided hearts, has apparently thrown some cash at Vertigo Live and that poor sap Rob…

Duff McKagan on Iggy Pop: “No Duh, He’s the Real Deal (Unlike My Hair Dye)”
Breaking, Music News

Duff McKagan on Iggy Pop: “No Duh, He’s the Real Deal (Unlike My Hair Dye)”

Chord F. DiscordOctober 21, 2025October 21, 2025

DUFF MCKAGAN, the bassist from that band your mom likes, GUNS N’ ROSES (yeah, them), decided to grace us with…

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Latest posts

  • Iran loves LA’s hospitality what a surprise
  • Liberal NY coffee shop bans patriot Rep Dan Goldman obviously
  • Liberal wimps attend pricey ‘man camp’ and still get crushed
  • Finally, America beats China with cheaper AI glasses apparently
  • BREAKING ORACLE SIGHTING CONFIRMED NOW

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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