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Nation Somehow Manages To Contain Excitement For Soccer
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Nation Somehow Manages To Contain Excitement For Soccer

Big ElephantJuly 4, 2026

The World Cup has finally arrived in the US, and I’m having a blast reading about it while sipping my…

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce Apparently Human Beings Too
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce Apparently Human Beings Too

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest celebrity news, and it seems like Taylor Swift has finally…

Nikki Sixx somehow didnt die
Breaking News: Nikki Sixx Celebrates 25 Years of Not Being a Hot Mess 🎉
Breaking, Music News

Nikki Sixx somehow didnt die

Chord F. DiscordJuly 3, 2026July 3, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my desk because I’m so excited to share this news with you all.…

Trump Rewards Polluters With Pardons Because Who Needs Clean Air Anyway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Rewards Polluters With Pardons Because Who Needs Clean Air Anyway

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Donald Trump’s latest move, and I have to say, it’s a…

Texas Fair Delayed Because Heat
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Fair Delayed Because Heat

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2026

Folks, I’m sitting here with my morning coffee, reading about the heat wave that’s got the eastern United States in…

Iran Loses Guy In Charge Forever Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Iran Loses Guy In Charge Forever Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the weeklong funeral for Iran’s former Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, and…

Netflix Recycles Gene Wilder’s Voice Because Originality is Overrated Apparently
Netflix's Latest Venture: A Wonka-themed Competition Series, Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix Recycles Gene Wilder’s Voice Because Originality is Overrated Apparently

FinnJuly 3, 2026July 3, 2026

We’re not sure if this is exactly what Willy Wonka had in mind when he sang about a world of…

Founding Father Takes Break From Revolution For Retail Therapy
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Founding Father Takes Break From Revolution For Retail Therapy

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2026

As I sipped my coffee and read about the events of July 4, 1776, I couldn’t help but chuckle at…

Empire State Building’s Impenetrable Fortress Breached Again With Ease Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Empire State Building’s Impenetrable Fortress Breached Again With Ease Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A daredevil couple, Angelina Nikolau and Ivan Kuznetsov, decided to…

You Won’t Believe Who’s Getting Soaked $800 Daily
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

You Won’t Believe Who’s Getting Soaked $800 Daily

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Supreme Court has declined to intervene in a case where…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Finn December 31, 2025
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