Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: HELP

Liberals eating own, good riddance to creepy Swalwell
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberals eating own, good riddance to creepy Swalwell

Big ElephantApril 15, 2026April 15, 2026

The so-called “journalists” are at it again, trying to tear down our great nation and our fearless leader, President Donald…

DREAM THEATER’s JOHN PETRUCCI Admits Playing Whole ‘Parasomnia’ Album Live Is Super Fun For Him But Possibly Soul Crushing For Everyone Else
Breaking, Music News

DREAM THEATER’s JOHN PETRUCCI Admits Playing Whole ‘Parasomnia’ Album Live Is Super Fun For Him But Possibly Soul Crushing For Everyone Else

Chord F. DiscordApril 15, 2026April 15, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Dream Theater guitarist John Petrucci revealed that the band’s current tour has been a…

Because Who Needs Human Interaction When You Can Hoard Rare Fortnite Skins and Call Yourself a Connoisseur of Digital Junk
Breaking, Games News

Because Who Needs Human Interaction When You Can Hoard Rare Fortnite Skins and Call Yourself a Connoisseur of Digital Junk

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 14, 2026April 14, 2026

Hey there, fellow gamers and collectors! Let’s talk about the crazy world of gaming memorabilia 🤯. I mean, who wouldn’t…

Warhammer Classics Because Who Needs New Games When You Can Pay For The Same Old Ones Again On Steam With A Fancy New Coat Of Paint And A Steep Price Tag
Breaking, Games News

Warhammer Classics Because Who Needs New Games When You Can Pay For The Same Old Ones Again On Steam With A Fancy New Coat Of Paint And A Steep Price Tag

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 13, 2026April 13, 2026

Get ready for a blast from the past, folks! 🚀 The publisher SNEG has teamed up with Games Workshop and…

JD Vance sells out to Iran, what a total RINO traitor
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

JD Vance sells out to Iran, what a total RINO traitor

Big ElephantApril 10, 2026April 10, 2026

Oh, great, just what I needed to make my day complete – another bunch of liberal nonsense trying to take…

PlayStation Revolutionizes Gaming With The Playerbase Because Clearly What You Needed Was Another Social Media Platform To Argue With 12 Year Olds
Breaking, Games News

PlayStation Revolutionizes Gaming With The Playerbase Because Clearly What You Needed Was Another Social Media Platform To Argue With 12 Year Olds

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 7, 2026April 7, 2026

Get ready to have your mind blown, folks! 😲 PlayStation has just announced The Playerbase, a revolutionary new way for…

Trump saves America from liberal brainwashing in colleges finally happens
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump saves America from liberal brainwashing in colleges finally happens

Big ElephantApril 4, 2026April 4, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys in for a treat. It’s 2026 and our great leader, President Donald Trump, is still…

BREAKING: Red Lobster Plans to Ruin Your Diet and Relationships with Highly Anticipated Return of the Infamous Endless Shrimp Promotion That Will Obviously End in Carb Coma and Regret
Breaking News: Red Lobster to Revive Endless Shrimp Promotion, Because Who Needs Financial Stability Anyway? 🍴👀
Breaking, Movie News

BREAKING: Red Lobster Plans to Ruin Your Diet and Relationships with Highly Anticipated Return of the Infamous Endless Shrimp Promotion That Will Obviously End in Carb Coma and Regret

FinnApril 3, 2026April 3, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Red Lobster is rumored to be bringing back the infamous Endless Shrimp promotion that…

Conan The Barbarian Somehow Manages to Wreck Stuff Again in Yet Another DLC That Will Probably Sell Anyway Jotunnslayer Hordes of Hel Because Who Needs Originality
The Epic Return of Conan The Barbarian: Because You Clearly Didn't Have Enough Beefcake in Your Life 🤣
Breaking, Games News

Conan The Barbarian Somehow Manages to Wreck Stuff Again in Yet Another DLC That Will Probably Sell Anyway Jotunnslayer Hordes of Hel Because Who Needs Originality

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 2, 2026April 2, 2026

The developers behind Jotunnslayer: Hordes of Hel have announced a DLC that brings the one and only Conan The Barbarian…

Cyberpunk Edgerunners Fans Get Ready to Waste Even More of Their Lives on a Board Game Based on a Show About Wasting Your Life in a Dystopian Future
Breaking News: Cyberpunk Edgerunners Fans Rejoice! A New Board Game is Coming to Ruin Your Social Life 🎉👀
Breaking, Games News

Cyberpunk Edgerunners Fans Get Ready to Waste Even More of Their Lives on a Board Game Based on a Show About Wasting Your Life in a Dystopian Future

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 2, 2026April 2, 2026

After the astronomical success of Cyberpunk: Edgerunners, because who doesn’t love a good anime about edgy teens with cybernetic enhancements…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 71 72 73 … 102 Next

Latest posts

  • LEGALIZER: Midnight Munchies Meet Federal Cereal Police
  • Republicans Face Trouble Due To Educational Divide Apparently
  • Midwest Suddenly Matters To Politicians Again
  • Florida University Stadium Nearby Shooting Casualties Total 11
  • Catholic Church Throws $800 Million At Problem It Hadn’t Fixed

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.