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Richie Sambora Still Milking Bon Jovi Teats With Kings Of Chaos
Breaking, Music News

Richie Sambora Still Milking Bon Jovi Teats With Kings Of Chaos

Chord F. DiscordAugust 2, 2026August 2, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some seriously epic news? 🤯 I just found out that KINGS OF CHAOS,…

JOHN 5 and WEDNESDAY 13 team up because you clearly didnt have enough mediocre guitar riffs in your life
Breaking, Music News

JOHN 5 and WEDNESDAY 13 team up because you clearly didnt have enough mediocre guitar riffs in your life

Chord F. DiscordAugust 2, 2026August 2, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for the most epic collaboration of the century? 🤯 I mean, it’s not like…

Government Casually Brushes Against Your Rights Again Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Government Casually Brushes Against Your Rights Again Somehow

Big ElephantAugust 2, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about this crazy story where a left-wing activist, Sam Tunick, was stopped by Border…

Democrats Engage in Thrilling Game of Circular Firing Squad in Michigan
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Democrats Engage in Thrilling Game of Circular Firing Squad in Michigan

Big ElephantAugust 2, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the Michigan Senate primary, and let me tell you, it’s a wild…

XENTRIX Still Making Music Because You Clearly Asked For It
Breaking, Music News

XENTRIX Still Making Music Because You Clearly Asked For It

Chord F. DiscordAugust 2, 2026August 2, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some thrilling news? 🤩 I just can’t contain my excitement… U.K. thrash veterans…

Spider-Man: Brand New Day is Totally Not a Desperate Cry for Help and a Rehashing of the Same Old Boring Storylines
Breaking, Movie News

Spider-Man: Brand New Day is Totally Not a Desperate Cry for Help and a Rehashing of the Same Old Boring Storylines

FinnAugust 1, 2026August 1, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for another Spider-Man movie? I mean, who isn’t tired of the same old web-slinging,…

Spider-Man reboot number umpteen is here to thrill your wallet again
Breaking, Movie News

Spider-Man reboot number umpteen is here to thrill your wallet again

FinnJuly 31, 2026August 3, 2026

The Spider-Man franchise is still swinging, because of course it is. Spider-Man: Brand New Day has arrived in theaters, hot…

Because Obviously We Need to Rewrite History to Justify Another Reboot
Breaking, Movie News

Because Obviously We Need to Rewrite History to Justify Another Reboot

FinnJuly 31, 2026July 31, 2026

It’s a concept that has plagued philosophers and superheroes alike for centuries: the constraints of time. For Spider-Man, it’s not…

W.A.S.P. Still Exists And Has New Music Coming Eventually Maybe
Breaking, Music News

W.A.S.P. Still Exists And Has New Music Coming Eventually Maybe

Chord F. DiscordJuly 31, 2026July 31, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some thrilling news? 🤩 W.A.S.P. is working on new music! 🎸 I know,…

Trump Escapes Iran Drama with Trusty Cabin Retreat
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Escapes Iran Drama with Trusty Cabin Retreat

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026July 31, 2026

President Donald Trump is not exactly the outdoorsy type, and his recent trip to Camp David was a bit of…

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  • Because What The World Really Needs Is Another Sicario Sequel Apparently

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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