Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • The Jackal Index
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Him

BIOHAZARD Singer Faceplants, Blames YOU For Lack of Stage Presence
Breaking, Music News

BIOHAZARD Singer Faceplants, Blames YOU For Lack of Stage Presence

Chord F. DiscordOctober 26, 2025October 26, 2025

OMG! BIOHAZARD’s Billy Graziadei decided to re-enact a horror movie ON STAGE last night in Montreal! 🇨🇦 Guess he really…

Dispatch Releases Episodes 1 & 2 (Prepare for a Binge or a Snorefest) + Episode Release Schedule (as if Anyone’s Keeping Track)
Breaking, Games News

Dispatch Releases Episodes 1 & 2 (Prepare for a Binge or a Snorefest) + Episode Release Schedule (as if Anyone’s Keeping Track)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

Oh, look, another “interactive experience” nobody asked for is “coming in hot.” 🔥 Yeah, because we’re all just DYING to…

“It Was Just An Accident” – Yeah Right, Sure It Was, Jafar
Breaking, Movie News

“It Was Just An Accident” – Yeah Right, Sure It Was, Jafar

FinnOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

MUBI, bless their cotton socks, has decided to inflict upon us a new trailer and some allegedly “new” artwork for…

London Film Festival Review: The Secret Agent – More like the Secretly Awful Agent, am I right?
Breaking, Movie News

London Film Festival Review: The Secret Agent – More like the Secretly Awful Agent, am I right?

FinnOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

As with most of Brazilian director Kleber Mendonça Filho’s films, The Secret Agent defies easy classification because, let’s be honest,…

Mamdani’s Weepy Sermon: My Faith’s Great, Cuomo’s the Devil
Elephant Reads CNN

Mamdani’s Weepy Sermon: My Faith’s Great, Cuomo’s the Devil

Big ElephantOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

Looks like the radical left is pulling out all the stops in New York! We’ve got Zohran Mamdani, the Democratic…

Bob Odenkirk’s face + Ben Wheatley’s weirdness = “Normal” (yeah, right)
Breaking

Bob Odenkirk’s face + Ben Wheatley’s weirdness = “Normal” (yeah, right)

FinnOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

Oh, sweet merciful carp! 🎣 Another Bob Odenkirk flick? Seriously? Is this guy contractually obligated to be in EVERYTHING? Someone…

AEROSMITH, YUNGBLUD, and STEVE MARTIN Team Up For ‘My Only Angel’ Remake – Prepare to be Confused
Breaking, Music News

AEROSMITH, YUNGBLUD, and STEVE MARTIN Team Up For ‘My Only Angel’ Remake – Prepare to be Confused

Chord F. DiscordOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

So, like, AEROSMITH, those dudes who haven’t been relevant since your grandpa’s dentures were shiny and new, and Yungblud, who…

Slash Whines About Spheres, Las Vegas, and Maybe Even Guns N’ Roses (Boo-Hoo)
Breaking, Music News

Slash Whines About Spheres, Las Vegas, and Maybe Even Guns N’ Roses (Boo-Hoo)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Slash, the dude who still wears a top hat in 2024, 🎩 is apparently too cool 😎 for…

Matthew Modine, bless his heart, thinks you care about his Full Metal Jacket doc
Breaking, Movie News

Matthew Modine, bless his heart, thinks you care about his Full Metal Jacket doc

FinnOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Like, who even cares about another documentary on Stanley Kubrick’s FULL METAL JACKET? Seriously, are we still milking…

Trump’s Brain Teaser: How to Annoy Vlad Without Making Americans Cry Over Gas Prices
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Brain Teaser: How to Annoy Vlad Without Making Americans Cry Over Gas Prices

Big ElephantOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

Here we go again, folks! CNN is clutching their pearls because President Trump is being too tough on Russia. Apparently,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 86 87 88 … 101 Next

Latest posts

  • Because You Clearly Needed More Amateur Film Criticism On The Internet Now
  • David Draiman Finally Finds Courage To Ruin Another Classic Song
  • Most Modern in Charlotte, NC (07/09/2026)
  • In A Darkened Room in Charlotte, NC (07/09/2026)
  • MSG Kept List Of Celebrity Guests Including Sexual Orientation Details

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}