Oh Joy Another Resident Evil Reboot Because the Last 12 Were Not Enough to Traumatize You for Life

Get ready for another epic failure in the Resident Evil movie franchise, because why not, right? 🙄 We’ve had like, a million of these movies already, and they just keep getting worse and worse. But hey, who doesn’t love a good trainwreck? 🚂😂 This one comes from Zach Cregger, the director of Barbarian and Weapons, because apparently, he hasn’t suffered enough. He’s decided to reboot the franchise, again, and this time it’s going to be totally different, we swear. 🙏

So, instead of Milla Jovovich running around in tight clothes, slicing and dicing monsters like a boss, we get a regular guy who’s just trying to survive a night from hell. Wow, what a unique and exciting concept. 🙃 It’s like they took every horror movie cliche and mashed them all together into one big mess. But hey, at least it’s not like they’re trying to cash in on the success of the video games or anything. 🤑

You can watch the teaser trailer below, if you dare. 🎃 It’s got all the usual Resident Evil stuff: zombies, explosions, and a guy who’s just trying to make it through the night without getting eaten. Yawn. 😴

Sony made six Resident Evil movies with Milla Jovovich, and none of them were any good. 🤣 But hey, who’s counting? They were all just a bunch of mindless action movies with bad acting and worse plotlines. But we loved them anyway, because who doesn’t love a good guilty pleasure? 🍿

And then there was the reboot, Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City, which was just a total disaster. 🌪️ It was like they took all the worst parts of the original movies and mashed them together into one big mess. But hey, at least it was consistent, right? 🙄

And let’s not forget the Netflix series, which was just a total joke. 🤣 It was like they took all the worst parts of the movies and TV shows and mashed them together into one big mess. But hey, at least it was short, right? 🙏

So, here’s the official synopsis for Cregger’s Resident Evil: “From the mind of visionary filmmaker Zach Cregger comes a thrilling — and terrifying — reinvention of the Resident Evil franchise.” 🙄 Yeah, sure, because we haven’t heard that before. 🙃 It’s like they’re trying to make us think that this one is going to be different, but we all know it’s just going to be the same old thing. 🤑

The movie follows Bryan, a medical courier who unwittingly finds himself in an action-packed, non-stop race for survival as one fateful, horrifying night collapses around him in chaos. Wow, what a unique and exciting concept. 🙃 It’s like they took every horror movie cliche and mashed them all together into one big mess. But hey, at least it’s not like they’re trying to cash in on the success of the video games or anything. 🤑

Resident Evil is scheduled to open in theaters on September 18, just in time for Halloween. 🎃 Because what’s more scary than a bunch of zombies and monsters? 🤣 It’s like they’re trying to make us think that this one is going to be a big hit, but we all know it’s just going to be a big flop. 🙄

So, if you’re a glutton for punishment, be sure to check out Resident Evil when it hits theaters. 🎥 It’s going to be a wild ride, full of zombies, explosions, and a guy who’s just trying to make it through the night without getting eaten. Yawn. 😴 But hey, at least it’s not like they’re trying to cash in on the success of the video games or anything. 🤑

And don’t forget to check out the teaser trailer, if you dare. 🎃 It’s got all the usual Resident Evil stuff: zombies, explosions, and a guy who’s just trying to make it through the night without getting eaten. Wow, what a unique and exciting concept. 🙃

So, what do you think? Are you excited for the new Resident Evil movie? 🤔 Let us know in the comments below. 💬 And don’t forget to like and subscribe for more movie news and reviews. 📺👍

Oh, and one more thing. 🤔 If you’re a fan of the Resident Evil video games, don’t worry, this movie is not going to ruin the franchise for you. 🙅‍♀️ It’s just going to be a fun, mindless action movie that you can enjoy with your friends. 🍿 So, go ahead and check it out, if you dare. 🎃

And finally, let’s talk about the cast. 🤔 Austin Abrams stars as Bryan, the medical courier who’s just trying to make it through the night without getting eaten. 🙃 And let’s be real, he’s not exactly the most exciting actor. 🙄 But hey, at least he’s not as bad as some of the other actors who have been in Resident Evil movies. 🤣

So, there you have it. 🎉 The new Resident Evil movie is coming, and it’s going to be a wild ride. 🚂😂 Full of zombies, explosions, and a guy who’s just trying to make it through the night without getting eaten. Yawn. 😴 But hey, at least it’s not like they’re trying to cash in on the success of the video games or anything. 🤑

And don’t forget to check out the teaser trailer, if you dare. 🎃 It’s got all the usual Resident Evil stuff: zombies, explosions, and a guy who’s just trying to make it through the night without getting eaten. Wow, what a unique and exciting concept. 🙃

So, what do you think? Are you excited for the new Resident Evil movie? 🤔 Let us know in the comments below. 💬 And don’t forget to like and subscribe for more movie news and reviews. 📺👍

Oh, and one more thing. 🤔 If you’re a fan of the Resident Evil video games, don’t worry, this movie is not going to ruin the franchise for you. 🙅‍♀️ It’s just going to be a fun, mindless action movie that you can enjoy with your friends. 🍿 So, go ahead and check it out, if you dare. 🎃

And finally, let’s talk about the director. 🤔 Zach Cregger is a visionary filmmaker who’s known for his work on Barbarian and Weapons. 🙄 But let’s be real, those movies were not exactly the most exciting things in the world. 🙃 But hey, at least he’s trying, right? 🙏

So, there you have it. 🎉 The new Resident Evil movie is coming, and it’s going to be a wild ride. 🚂😂 Full of zombies, explosions, and a guy who’s just trying to make it through the night without getting eaten. Yawn. 😴 But hey, at least it’s not like they’re trying to cash in on the success of the video games or anything. 🤑

And don’t forget to check out the teaser trailer, if you dare. 🎃 It’s got all the usual Resident Evil stuff: zombies, explosions, and a guy who’s just trying to make it through the night without getting eaten. Wow, what a unique and exciting concept. 🙃

So, what do you think? Are you excited for the new Resident Evil movie? 🤔 Let us know in the comments below. 💬 And don’t forget to like and subscribe for more movie news and reviews. 📺👍

Oh, and one more thing. 🤔 If you’re a fan of the Resident Evil video games, don’t worry, this movie is not going to ruin the franchise for you. 🙅‍♀️ It’s just going to be a fun, mindless action movie that you can enjoy with your friends. 🍿 So, go ahead and check it out, if you dare. 🎃

And finally, let’s talk about the plot. 🤔 It’s about a guy who’s just trying to make it through the night without getting eaten. 🙃 Wow, what a unique and exciting concept. 🙃 But hey, at least it’s not like they’re trying to cash in on the success of the video games or anything. 🤑

So, there you have it. 🎉 The new Resident Evil movie is coming, and it’s going to be a wild ride. 🚂😂 Full of zombies, explosions, and a guy who’s just trying to make it through the night without getting eaten. Yawn. 😴 But hey, at least it’s not like they’re trying to cash in on the success of the video games or anything. 🤑

And don’t forget to check out the teaser trailer, if you dare. 🎃 It’s got all the usual Resident Evil stuff: zombies, explosions, and a guy who’s just trying to make it through the night without getting eaten. Wow, what a unique and exciting concept. 🙃

So, what do you think? Are you excited for the new Resident Evil movie? 🤔 Let us know in the comments below!