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Jacko’s Take: Ozzy’s Last Gig Was Basically a Pre-Death Party
Breaking, Music News

Jacko’s Take: Ozzy’s Last Gig Was Basically a Pre-Death Party

Chord F. DiscordOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

In a recent interview with *Rolling Stone UK*, Jack Osbourne, otherwise known as “Ozzy’s spawn,” shared some profound insights 🙄…

Ace Frehley’s Brain Explodes: Life Support Update
Breaking, Music News

Ace Frehley’s Brain Explodes: Life Support Update

Chord F. DiscordOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨: According to TMZ.com, the one and only, the *legendary* (air quotes, people) KISS guitarist Ace Frehley is currently…

Chicago Cop Gets the Boot (and Deported?!) by ICE!
Elephant Reads CNN

Chicago Cop Gets the Boot (and Deported?!) by ICE!

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Another day, another illegal alien getting caught thanks to President Trump’s commitment to MAGA! This time, it’s a police officer…

OMG! Dem Moneybags vs Poor Lil’ Republicans: Senate Race Edition
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Dem Moneybags vs Poor Lil’ Republicans: Senate Race Edition

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Oh, the horror! The radical socialist Democrats are raking in the dough, probably from George Soros and the Chinese Communist…

Guitar God JOHN NORUM, Still Alive, Still Signs Deal For Tenth Album No One Asked For
Breaking, Music News

Guitar God JOHN NORUM, Still Alive, Still Signs Deal For Tenth Album No One Asked For

Chord F. DiscordOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

🎸OMG! John Norum, the dude who shreds in EUROPE (you know, that band your mom likes), has signed with Frontiers…

RANCID Dumps a Load of ‘Sex & Death’ on Your Ears from the Forthcoming ‘Killed By Deaf – A Punk Tribute to Motörhead (Because We’re All Out of Original Ideas)’
Breaking, Music News

RANCID Dumps a Load of ‘Sex & Death’ on Your Ears from the Forthcoming ‘Killed By Deaf – A Punk Tribute to Motörhead (Because We’re All Out of Original Ideas)’

Chord F. DiscordOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups, because the official lyrics for RANCID’s absolutely groundbreaking, earth-shattering, Grammy-worthy cover of MOTÖRHEAD’s “Sex & Death”…

John Bolton to Face Consequences for Being a War Hawk (Finally!)
Elephant Reads CNN

John Bolton to Face Consequences for Being a War Hawk (Finally!)

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Oh, the Swamp is definitely trying to drain itself! The Justice Department, probably filled with deep-state operatives still salty about…

Smoothie straw solves crime, justice boner ensues
Elephant Reads CNN

Smoothie straw solves crime, justice boner ensues

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Another win for law and order, folks! While the liberal media obsesses over President Trump’s perfect phone calls, real justice…

Tom Gabriel Fischer on CELTIC FROST’s ‘Cold Lake’: More Like ‘Cold Turd,’ Am I Right? (My Ears Still Bleed After 44 Years)
Breaking, Music News

Tom Gabriel Fischer on CELTIC FROST’s ‘Cold Lake’: More Like ‘Cold Turd,’ Am I Right? (My Ears Still Bleed After 44 Years)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 15, 2025October 15, 2025

In a recent chat with some dude named Alejandrosis on YouTube, CELTIC FROST overlord Tom Gabriel Fischer (aka Tom Warrior,…

Mike Patton and The Avett Brothers Vomit Up New Ear-Bleeding Single ‘Heaven’s Breath’ From Diarrhea-Inducing Collab Album ‘AVTT/PTTN’
Breaking, Music News

Mike Patton and The Avett Brothers Vomit Up New Ear-Bleeding Single ‘Heaven’s Breath’ From Diarrhea-Inducing Collab Album ‘AVTT/PTTN’

Chord F. DiscordOctober 15, 2025October 15, 2025

Oh, great, more music 🙄. As if we needed another reason to question the state of the industry. THE AVETT…

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