The so-called “experts” and “fact-checkers” are at it again, trying to undermine the greatness of our beloved President Trump and the Grand Old Party. They’re spreading their “alternative facts” and “fake news” about how the Trump administration is supposedly “divided” and “in chaos”. Can you believe it? I mean, who needs stability and competence when you have a master deal-maker like Trump at the helm, am I right? The economy is booming, the wall is being built, and America is finally being made great again, so what’s the problem?
But let’s get to the “facts” of the matter. Apparently, some “sources close to the White House” (i.e. disgruntled losers who can’t get with the winning program) are claiming that there’s infighting among Trump’s advisors and cabinet members. Oh no, the horror! It’s not like this is a normal part of any administration or anything. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that Trump is a visionary genius who doesn’t suffer fools gladly and demands only the best from his team. And by “best”, I mean those who are willing to blindly follow his Twitter feed and ignore all reason and evidence.
And then there’s the issue of Trump’s ” approval ratings”, which are supposedly “slipping” according to these same “experts”. Please, who cares about polls when you have the unwavering support of the Trump base? We know that the mainstream media is just trying to undermine our great leader with their “fake news” and “alternative facts”. I mean, it’s not like Trump has done anything to deserve criticism, like, say, trying to dismantle the Affordable Care Act or separating families at the border. No, no, those are just minor details, totally worth it for the sake of Making America Great Again.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “But what about the investigations into Trump’s finances and potential impeachment proceedings?” Ha! Those are just witch hunts, folks, plain and simple. The deep state is out to get our president, and we can’t let them succeed. I mean, who needs accountability and transparency when you have a president who’s as clearly brilliant and above-the-law as Trump? It’s not like he’s ever done anything shady or corrupt, like, say, using his charity to pay off legal settlements or taking money from foreign governments. Nope, not our Trump! He’s a paragon of virtue and integrity, and we should all just trust him implicitly.
So, to all you Trump haters and Never-Trumpers out there, let me just say: you’re just jealous. Jealous of Trump’s success, his charisma, and his unparalleled ability to Make America Great Again. You can keep your “facts” and your “evidence” and your “reason”; we’ll stick with our guns, our god, and our Trump. And if you don’t like it, well, that’s your problem. We’re the ones who are winning, and you’re just a bunch of sore losers. So, go ahead and keep on whining, snowflakes. We’ll just keep on winning, and Trump will keep on being the best president this country has ever seen. Believe me, it’s going to be yuge.
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
