Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Him

Rev. Jesse Jackson Escapes ICU, Still Trapped in Hospital: A CNN Exclusive
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Rev. Jesse Jackson Escapes ICU, Still Trapped in Hospital: A CNN Exclusive

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Oh, bless his heart! Civil rights leader and professional race-baiter, Rev. Jesse Jackson, is still kicking! They say he’s “stable,”…

FEMA Chief Decides To Spend More Time With Family, Which Is Code For “Trump Was About To Fire Him”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

FEMA Chief Decides To Spend More Time With Family, Which Is Code For “Trump Was About To Fire Him”

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Another Deep State Operative Bites the Dust! Richardson, the now-former head of FEMA, is out! Sources say this lib couldn’t…

Pilot Gets Grounded: The Ultimate “How Not to Fly” Guide
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pilot Gets Grounded: The Ultimate “How Not to Fly” Guide

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Another day, another win for the woke mob! This time, a pilot hopped up on psychedelic mushrooms tried to shut…

‘Moana’ Remake Teaser: Because the Original Wasn’t Good Enough, Apparently
Breaking, Movie News

‘Moana’ Remake Teaser: Because the Original Wasn’t Good Enough, Apparently

FinnNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Can you believe it’s only been, like, NINE years since Moana brainwashed our kids? 🤯 Apparently, that’s enough…

RUNNING WILD to FINALLY Release New Album in Summer 2026 (If They Remember To)
Breaking, Music News

RUNNING WILD to FINALLY Release New Album in Summer 2026 (If They Remember To)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Ahoy, mateys! Prepare yourselves for another legendary saga! 🤣 The geriatric pirates of RUNNING WILD are STILL allegedly working on…

Paul Stanley Threatens World with ‘Probable’ New KISS Music: ‘I’ve Been Writing’
Breaking, Music News

Paul Stanley Threatens World with ‘Probable’ New KISS Music: ‘I’ve Been Writing’

Chord F. DiscordNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

On November 16th, the geriatric quartet known as KISS 👴👵— Paul Stanley (aka the Starchild who should really embrace his…

State Dept to brand Venezuelan Cartel as certified super-villains, because why not
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

State Dept to brand Venezuelan Cartel as certified super-villains, because why not

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump in the ongoing battle against globalist scum and their drug-peddling pals! Secretary of…

Breaking: Reverend Jesse Jackson Plugged into Wall Socket, Family Claims He’s “Charging”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Breaking: Reverend Jesse Jackson Plugged into Wall Socket, Family Claims He’s “Charging”

Big ElephantNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Looks like the race-baiting Reverend Jesse Jackson is finally facing the music! They say he’s on life support, probably because…

HENRY ROLLINS: ME NO LIKE TRUMP, TRUMP NO SMART
Breaking, Music News

HENRY ROLLINS: ME NO LIKE TRUMP, TRUMP NO SMART

Chord F. DiscordNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Oh, look, it’s Henry Rollins, the guy who yells about stuff, giving us his profound, totally unbiased take on Orange…

From Prison Cell to City Hall: NOLA’s Newest Clerk Just Knows How to Keep Records, Okay
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

From Prison Cell to City Hall: NOLA’s Newest Clerk Just Knows How to Keep Records, Okay

Big ElephantNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Folks, you won’t believe the swampy depths to which New Orleans has sunk! A convicted murderer, yes, a real-life criminal,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 95 96 97 … 119 Next

Latest posts

  • Hollywood Scrapes Bottom with AI Powered Stuart Fails to Save the Universe
  • Dave Grohl Tries To Buy His Way Into Heaven By Offering To Pay For Reed Mullin’s Rehab
  • Luke Steele Talks AI Empowering Artists With The Right Skills
  • Lollapalooza Attendee Throws Bag of Urine into Crowd
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS: Tim Walberg gets total endorsement for August 4th reelection bid

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.