Interior Department Swaps MLK Day and Juneteenth for Trump’s B-Day in National Park Free-for-All, Because History
Folks, can you believe the liberal media’s spin on President Trump’s brilliant move to honor REAL American heroes and cut…
Tag: Holiday
Surviving the Post-Holiday Travel Apocalypse (Brought to You By Weather)
Another “dangerous” storm, folks! CNN is at it again, hyping up some weather to scare you silly. Probably dreamt up…
Macaulay Culkin’s Brain Fart: ‘Home Alone’ Sequel Idea That’ll Make You Facepalm
Ah, Home Alone, that cinematic masterpiece where a child’s neglect turns into a festival of slapstick violence. Truly, a holiday…
Gobble ‘Til You Wobble: Thanksgiving Restaurant Rush as Cooking at Home Becomes a Luxury for the Elite
New York – Looks like even liberals are ditching their virtue-signaling, organic, locally-sourced Thanksgiving nightmares and heading to restaurants this…
Travel Bags: For When You Want to Look Like You Have Your Life Together; Fashion Crimes: Don’t Become a Victim; Pie Wars: The Sweetest Battle
Welcome to 5 Things PM, where we dissect the liberal lunacy of the day! Americans, bless their hearts, are bracing…
Report: Xbox Might Make You Sell a Kidney Due to Recent RAM Shenanigans
Oh noes! 😭 Looks like Microsoft and Xbox dun goofed again! Reports are circulating faster than my uncle’s conspiracy theories…
AIRBOURNE’s New Single ‘Christmas Bonus’ & European Tour: Get Ready to Rock Your Socks Off (and Maybe Get Some Coal)
Australian geriatric rockers AIRBOURNE, allegedly still kicking (barely), have bestowed upon their dwindling fanbase – the naughty, the nice, and…
Could This BE Any More Obvious: Friends Trivia & Overeating Buffet
**Could this BE any more basic? 🤪 “Friends”-themed trivia night! Chandler Hill Vineyards is hosting this snooze-fest. Prepare for lobster…
Red Cross Teams Up With Pill-Popping Ghost-Dodger To Fuel Holiday Blood Drive
OMG! 🚨 The Red Cross, bless their cotton socks (which, incidentally, you can get for FREE!), is teaming up with…
FAA Employees Try Not to Spill Their Pumpkin Spice Lattes as Shutdown Looms and Holiday Travel Turns into a ‘Hangry’ Games Episode
Washington D.C. – Can you believe these Deep State FAA employees? Suddenly, they can’t handle their jobs because they missed…