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Tag: Holiday

Ferragosto: Pizza, Movies, and Existential Dread
Events

Ferragosto: Pizza, Movies, and Existential Dread

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 16, 2025

OMG! 🤩 Movie night at the Milford House! 🍕 + 🍷 (but no BYOB, Karen!) Screening of When Mom Is…

Evanescence Ditching Their Emo Roots for a Midlife Crisis Album: “We’re Just Doing Whatever Feels Good,” Says Amy Lee, Probably Wearing Crocs
Breaking, Music News

Evanescence Ditching Their Emo Roots for a Midlife Crisis Album: “We’re Just Doing Whatever Feels Good,” Says Amy Lee, Probably Wearing Crocs

Chord F. DiscordJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

OMG! 😱 In a recent interview with Kevin Ryder and Megan Holiday from the *super* influential KROQ radio station (never…

Josh Todd From Buckcherry Remembers When He Met Floyd Mayweather, World’s Okayest Boxer
Breaking, Music News

Josh Todd From Buckcherry Remembers When He Met Floyd Mayweather, World’s Okayest Boxer

Chord F. DiscordJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

OMG 😱! Josh Todd from those *super* relevant rockers BUCKCHERRY (who?) graced us with his presence on Side Jams With…

Ex-ICED EARTH Vocalist, Matt Barlow, “Slightly Displeased” By Jon Schaffer’s Vacation Photos From U.S Capitol
Breaking, Music News

Ex-ICED EARTH Vocalist, Matt Barlow, “Slightly Displeased” By Jon Schaffer’s Vacation Photos From U.S Capitol

Chord F. DiscordJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

In a riveting exposé with Tom Wilson of Australia’s oh-so-credible Sense Music Media, ex-ICED EARTH crooner Matt Barlow was quizzed…

‘Superman’ Broadway Musical: More Like ‘SuperFAIL’
Breaking, Movie News

‘Superman’ Broadway Musical: More Like ‘SuperFAIL’

FinnJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Behold! The most cringe-worthy, face-palming, “what were they thinking?” piece of superhero media ever to disgrace the silver screen… or…

July 4th, 2025: The Definitive Guide to What’s Actually Open (Spoiler: Not Much)
Elephant Reads CNN

July 4th, 2025: The Definitive Guide to What’s Actually Open (Spoiler: Not Much)

Big ElephantJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

Another year, another chance for the liberal media to downplay the glory of America! CNN, still whining after President Trump’s…

Coney Island’s Summer Biz Starts with People Stuffing Their Faces with Hot Dogs, What a World
Elephant Reads CNN

Coney Island’s Summer Biz Starts with People Stuffing Their Faces with Hot Dogs, What a World

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Another July 4th, and CNN is pushing the same old leftist propaganda, this time disguised as a puff piece about…

DHS and FBI Warn of Impending Doom (aka July 4th Fireworks) by Lone Wolves
Elephant Reads CNN

DHS and FBI Warn of Impending Doom (aka July 4th Fireworks) by Lone Wolves

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Looks like the Deep State is at it again, folks! The FBI and DHS are issuing warnings about July 4th…

Wake Up Sheeple: Weed, Trump’s Tantrum, Bezos’s Boating Accident, ‘Murica Day, and Geriatric Rock Stars
Elephant Reads CNN

Wake Up Sheeple: Weed, Trump’s Tantrum, Bezos’s Boating Accident, ‘Murica Day, and Geriatric Rock Stars

Big ElephantJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here! Oasis is reuniting! After 15 years, those socialist Brit-rockers are back to…

Biden Declares Juneteenth a National “Let’s All Get Along” Day at a Church Older Than Your Grandpa
Elephant Reads CNN

Biden Declares Juneteenth a National “Let’s All Get Along” Day at a Church Older Than Your Grandpa

Big ElephantJune 20, 2025June 20, 2025

Oh, goodie, more virtue signaling from Sleepy Joe! He’s at a “historic Black church” in Texas, probably plotting how to…

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Latest posts

  • Obama Library Cruelly Disenfranchises Millions Of Black Americans By Requiring Photo ID For Entry
  • Cringe: Out-Of-Touch Company Posts Pride Logo Like It’s 2014 Or Something
  • Liberal snowflakes freak out over Trump’s impending election domination wins
  • Liberal actor whines about Juneteenth being supposedly erased by Trump
  • Fake news Italy PM claims Trump lied about her begging him

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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