“2025 Holiday Races: Run Like Santa’s Sleigh Is on Fire (Or Just Walk, We Don’t Care)”
LAST CHANCE TO SPEND $100 FOR THE *PRIVILEGE* OF GIVING US CASH TO RUN IN THE COLD 🏃♂️❄️ Dec. 1–13:…
Tag: Holiday
“Santa’s Sweatshop: Gozo Para Houston ‘Gifts’ Poor Kids Broken Toys and Capitalism’s Leftovers”
🎄 Houston’s Free Christmas Extravaganza: Because Nothing Says “Joy” Like Desperate Giveaways! 13 de diciembre · Puertas abren a las…
“IF You Foundation’s Christmas Miracle: Because Nothing Says ‘Holiday Cheer’ Like a Dubious Charity Flex”
🎄 Santa’s Sweatshop: Orlando’s QR-Coded Toy Extravaganza! 🎅 The IF You Foundation & City of Orlando | District 6 –…
Stryper’s Christmas Album: Prepare for a Yellow and Black Attack on Your Holiday Cheer
Oh, great, CNN is peddling Stryper’s Christmas album. As if we need more leftist Hollywood elites trying to force their…
Santa’s Jingle Bell Jamboree to Save the Holiday Spirit from Grinches
When a Christmas concert ends, the real magic begins… in the Help Center! 🎄😂 The Nashville African American Wind Symphony’s…
Interior Department Swaps MLK Day and Juneteenth for Trump’s B-Day in National Park Free-for-All, Because History
Folks, can you believe the liberal media’s spin on President Trump’s brilliant move to honor REAL American heroes and cut…
Surviving the Post-Holiday Travel Apocalypse (Brought to You By Weather)
Another “dangerous” storm, folks! CNN is at it again, hyping up some weather to scare you silly. Probably dreamt up…
Macaulay Culkin’s Brain Fart: ‘Home Alone’ Sequel Idea That’ll Make You Facepalm
Ah, Home Alone, that cinematic masterpiece where a child’s neglect turns into a festival of slapstick violence. Truly, a holiday…
Gobble ‘Til You Wobble: Thanksgiving Restaurant Rush as Cooking at Home Becomes a Luxury for the Elite
New York – Looks like even liberals are ditching their virtue-signaling, organic, locally-sourced Thanksgiving nightmares and heading to restaurants this…
Travel Bags: For When You Want to Look Like You Have Your Life Together; Fashion Crimes: Don’t Become a Victim; Pie Wars: The Sweetest Battle
Welcome to 5 Things PM, where we dissect the liberal lunacy of the day! Americans, bless their hearts, are bracing…