Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: horror

Konami desecrates beloved franchise with ANOTHER Return to Silent Hill trailer
Breaking, Movie News

Konami desecrates beloved franchise with ANOTHER Return to Silent Hill trailer

FinnAugust 27, 2025August 27, 2025

Okay, folks, brace yourselves because Jeremy Irvine (of “Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again” fame, because apparently, ABBA prepared him…

Cradle of Filth Minus One Dude: Still Filthy, Still Filthy-ing
Breaking, Music News

Cradle of Filth Minus One Dude: Still Filthy, Still Filthy-ing

Chord F. DiscordAugust 27, 2025August 27, 2025

CRADLE OF FILTH, those purveyors of symphonic black metal (or whatever Dani Filth is calling it these days), graced Montevideo,…

CNN Thinks You’re Dumb Enough to Believe Trump’s a Dictator, LOL
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Thinks You’re Dumb Enough to Believe Trump’s a Dictator, LOL

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is at it again, peddling their usual anti-Trump propaganda. Seems like they’re clutching their pearls because…

OMG! K-Pop Demon Hunters Beat Literally Every Other Movie Ever Made, Bow Down Netflix Peasants
Breaking, Movie News

OMG! K-Pop Demon Hunters Beat Literally Every Other Movie Ever Made, Bow Down Netflix Peasants

FinnAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Honestly, who even CARES anymore? KPop Demon Hunters is apparently the most-watched Netflix movie EVER. Like, ever ever. 🙄 With…

STATIC-X Bassist Reminisces About Hanging With The Prince Of Darkness: “Ozzy Was, Like, Totally Awesome, Man”
Breaking, Music News

STATIC-X Bassist Reminisces About Hanging With The Prince Of Darkness: “Ozzy Was, Like, Totally Awesome, Man”

Chord F. DiscordAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

So, apparently, according to PipemanRadio at the totally important Bloodstock Open Air festival (never heard of it), STATIC-X bassist Tony…

FILTER’s Richard Patrick Laments Lack of Existential Dread in Today’s Pop Music
Breaking, Music News

FILTER’s Richard Patrick Laments Lack of Existential Dread in Today’s Pop Music

Chord F. DiscordAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

During a groundbreaking 🤯 interview on “Whiplash”, the KLOS radio show hosted by the one and only Full Metal Jackie…

Apple’s Crappy iPhone Launch: Prepare for Disappointment on Sept 9 | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Apple’s Crappy iPhone Launch: Prepare for Disappointment on Sept 9 | CNN Business

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Oh, the horror! Apple, that bastion of liberal tech tyranny, is at it again, unveiling the iPhone 17 on September…

Cracker Barrel Admits New Logo Was a Dumpster Fire, Stock Price Proves It
Elephant Reads CNN

Cracker Barrel Admits New Logo Was a Dumpster Fire, Stock Price Proves It

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Oh, the horror! Cracker Barrel, that bastion of American comfort food, tried to pander to the woke mob with a…

CNN: Brave Activists Rally for Guy Who Might Get Sent to Uganda Because Orange Man Said So
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Brave Activists Rally for Guy Who Might Get Sent to Uganda Because Orange Man Said So

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Another sob story from CNN about a “poor, innocent” illegal alien. Kilmar Abrego Garcia, a…

“Dirty Boy” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Mind Hilariously Messed With
Breaking, Movie News

“Dirty Boy” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Mind Hilariously Messed With

FinnAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups! Mystic Dream Story Studio (sounds legit), Stone Hill (probably a pile of rocks), and Saint Halo…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 37 38 39 … 65 Next

Latest posts

  • So-Called ‘World’s Greatest Dad’ Not Even In Top Five
  • ‘Now Witness The Firepower Of This Fully Armed And Operational Battle Station,’ Cackles Obama
  • Piani industriali per il sociale aka come spendere soldi per sembrare buoni
  • Hulp ik heb mijn libido kwijt tijd voor een noodexperiment
  • Lea Michele Shows Off Ability To Make Co-Star Cry On Command

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}