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Tag: horror

‘The Conjuring: Last Rites’ Scares Up Third-Highest Opening—Are We Really Still Doing This
Elephant Reads CNN

‘The Conjuring: Last Rites’ Scares Up Third-Highest Opening—Are We Really Still Doing This

Big ElephantSeptember 7, 2025September 7, 2025

Another weekend, another victory for REAL American values at the box office! “The Conjuring: Last Rites” scared the pants off…

ProgPower USA 2026: These Bands Are So Old, They Make Dinosaurs Look Like Fresh-Faced Teenagers
Live, Music News

ProgPower USA 2026: These Bands Are So Old, They Make Dinosaurs Look Like Fresh-Faced Teenagers

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 7, 2025September 7, 2025

ENSIFERUM, ELUVEITIE, CONCEPTION, EVERGREY, NEVERMORE (wait, what year is it?!), HAMMERFALL (because who doesn’t love a good hammer?), CRIMSON GLORY…

ICE, ICE, Baby: Delivery Drivers Ditch DC Faster Than You Can Say ‘Deportation’
Elephant Reads CNN

ICE, ICE, Baby: Delivery Drivers Ditch DC Faster Than You Can Say ‘Deportation’

Big ElephantSeptember 7, 2025September 7, 2025

Oh, the horror! It seems our beloved Washington D.C. is experiencing a slight… decluttering of its illegal immigrant population, and…

Tesla Just Lightly Tossed a Measly Trillion at Elon, No Biggie
Elephant Reads CNN

Tesla Just Lightly Tossed a Measly Trillion at Elon, No Biggie

Big ElephantSeptember 7, 2025September 7, 2025

Oh, the horror! Tesla, that bastion of American ingenuity, is considering giving Elon Musk, a true visionary and friend of…

Oh, the Horror! Ukrainians Might Have to Actually, Like, *Leave* the US
Elephant Reads CNN

Oh, the Horror! Ukrainians Might Have to Actually, Like, *Leave* the US

Big ElephantSeptember 6, 2025

Oh, the humanity! Or should I say, oh, the Ukrainianity? Seems like these poor souls, ushered in under Biden’s “Uniting…

Redneck Virgin Lands in NYC: Hilarity Ensues
Elephant Reads CNN

Redneck Virgin Lands in NYC: Hilarity Ensues

Big ElephantSeptember 6, 2025September 6, 2025

Oh, the horror! A Minnesota teen, brainwashed by liberal propaganda in the North Star State, was subjected to the TRUMATIC…

CNN’s Pathetic Attempt to Make You Feel Good: A Preview of People Desperately Seeking Validation
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s Pathetic Attempt to Make You Feel Good: A Preview of People Desperately Seeking Validation

Big ElephantSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Another day, another ridiculous attempt by the liberal media to distract you from President Trump’s AMAZING work! They want you…

TRON: Ares Gets Another Glorified Ad, Still No Actual Movie
Breaking, Music News

TRON: Ares Gets Another Glorified Ad, Still No Actual Movie

FinnSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Tron: Ares, or as I like to call it, “Tron: Yet Another Reboot Nobody Asked For,” is gracing us with…

Witness JLaw and RPatz in a Teaser for a Ramsay Flick About Dying or Whatever
Breaking, Movie News

Witness JLaw and RPatz in a Teaser for a Ramsay Flick About Dying or Whatever

FinnSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

OMG! 😱 MUBI, the platform for people who pretend to understand arthouse cinema, has graced us with a teaser trailer…

Sebastian Bach Swears on a Stack of Leather Pants He Won’t Let Robots Steal His Screams
Breaking, Music News

Sebastian Bach Swears on a Stack of Leather Pants He Won’t Let Robots Steal His Screams

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sebastian Bach, the vocal gymnast from that band your mom liked, SKID ROW (yeah, that one), has some…

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