ICE CREAM, CELLPHONES, AND FAT CATS: NEWS SO IMPORTANT, YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT
Folks, another day, another socialist scare from CNN! They’re trying to distract you from President Trump’s incredible leadership, but we…
Tag: horror
OMG, Guitar Hero SLASH Teams Up With Universal Studios to Ruin Halloween for Everyone in 2025!
Universal Studios Hollywood, bless their cotton socks, has decided that the only way to stay relevant is by clinging to…
Hershey to Charge an Arm and a Leg for Chocolate, Because Why Not
Oh, the horror! Looks like the woke mob is now after our chocolate! Hershey is raising prices, blaming it on…
James Gunn Blames America-Hating Haters for ‘Superman’ Flop
James Gunn, our supreme overlord and benevolent dictator of DC Studios, has graced us with his infinite wisdom, explaining why…
Netanyahu Declares NYC Mayoral Candidate’s Ideas So Dumb, They’re Basically a Threat to World Peace
Oh, the horror! CNN is reporting on how Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu dared to criticize some radical leftist Dem running…
GWAR’s 40th: Streaming From the Hellmouth (Because VEEPS Pays the Bills)
Behold, feeble humans! Your 👽alien overlords in GWAR, those pioneers of making music that sounds like a garbage truck falling…
HATEBREED Drops New Banger ‘Make The Demons Obey’ After Half a Decade, Demons Tremble in Fear
Ah, HATEBREED, those stalwarts of Connecticut hardcore/metal (is there even a difference anymore?🤔), have finally graced us with new music…
Dying Light 2: Stay Bleak – We Played It So You Don’t Have To
Oh, honey, guess what? I got PAID to hang out in sunny Los Angeles with a bunch of other “journalists”…
Beef Prices Skyrocket: Prepare to Sell Your Firstborn for a Steak
Oh, the horror! First eggs, now beef! Can you believe these socialist policies are making our steaks unaffordable? It’s all…
GHOST: Apparently People Can’t Follow Simple Instructions, Film Band on Phones Anyway
OMG 😱! Some dude filmed GHOST playing “Square Hammer” in Philly on July 19th. Like, who even uses phones anymore?…