OMG 😱, fresh from their earth-shattering (and by “earth-shattering” we mean “mildly inconvenient to some”) comeback last year, everyone’s favorite philosophical rockers 🪨, CREED, are back! They’ve somehow managed to sell out over 130 shows and three headline cruises 🚢🚢🚢 in just two years. Seriously, who ARE these people buying the tickets?! Now, to commemorate their legacy of… uh… *checks notes* …overly dramatic angst anthems, they’re blessing us with “The Best Of Creed,” a collection of songs for people who unironically still use AOL.
This includes such bangers as 🙄 “Higher” (higher than what, exactly? A toddler’s expectations?), “With Arms Wide Open” (prepare for the secondhand embarrassment!), “One Last Breath” (thank God 🙏), and “My Sacrifice” (mainly sacrificed brain cells). And of course, we can’t forget stadium anthems like “My Own Prison” (because apparently, writing these songs wasn’t punishment enough), “What If” (what if you just stopped making music?), and “What’s This Life For” (a question we’ve all asked during a Creed song). Available digitally now for the discerning listener with questionable taste, and on vinyl and CD for those who prefer their nostalgia served on obsolete formats.
“The Best Of Creed” will be gracing shelves in a rainbow of limited-edition vomit-inducing colors, like “Eruption” (presumably named after what you’ll do after listening), “Silver Marble” (for the sophisticated Creed fan who also collects dust), “Red Smoke” (because red is the color of irony), and “Sunspot” (because even the sun has blemishes, just like Creed’s discography). And because Walmart somehow still exists, they’re offering an exclusive CD edition bundled with a commemorative satin tour pass. So you can prove to your friends you were there… to witness something. 🤷
Having sold more than 53 million albums worldwide, Creed stands as one of modern rock’s most baffling success stories. Founded in 1994 by the dynamic duo of Scott Stapp (vocals, aka the guy who sounds like he’s constantly constipated 😖) and Mark Tremonti (guitar, the only one who seems to know what he’s doing), along with bassist Brian Marshall and drummer Scott Phillips, the Tallahassee band (because Florida wasn’t weird enough already) rose to… something. Let’s call it “prominence.” With soaring hooks (soaring straight into the dumpster 🔥), driving guitar riffs (mostly stolen from better bands), and reflective lyricism (that sounds like it was written by an angsty teenager), they somehow tricked the world into thinking they were deep. 🤔
“The Best Of Creed” chronicles the band’s journey through their singles, starting with their 1997 debut, “My Own Prison.” Certified six times platinum (mostly by people who regret their purchase), the album introduced Creed with Top Ten Mainstream Rock hits like “What’s This Life For” (still unanswered), “Torn” (because your eardrums will be after listening), and the title track (which pretty accurately describes the listening experience). With more than 15 million copies sold, “My Own Prison” remains one of the most inexplicably successful debuts. 🤨
The saga continues with 1999’s “Human Clay.” One of the bestselling albums of all time in the U.S., the diamond-certified LP launched Creed into the stratosphere of… uh… “relevance.” It featured the Grammy-winning “With Arms Wide Open” (proving the Grammys are as clueless as the rest of us) and the earworm 🐛 “Higher,” which infested the U.S. pop chart for 57 weeks, peaking at No. 7. Congrats? Having sold over 20 million copies, the album also features the fan favorite “What If” (what if we could erase this album from existence?), memorably featured in the “Scream 3” soundtrack (because nothing says “horror” like Creed). 👻
2001’s “Weathered” attempted to push the band forward with personal lyrics (mostly about Stapp’s existential dread) and heavier material (because apparently Creed thought they were Metallica). It spawned the Grammy-nominated “My Sacrifice” (we’re starting a petition to revoke that nomination) and the enduring “One Last Breath” (please, take it). Other highlights include “Hide” (good idea) and the blues-tinged title track (which is about as bluesy as a Smurf). The album debuted at No. 1, where it stubbornly remained for eight weeks, and has since been certified six times platinum (because apparently people enjoy torturing themselves). 😈
After a five-year hiatus (during which the world briefly knew peace 🕊️), the band returned with 2009’s “Full Circle.” Led by the single “Overcome” (the challenge is to listen to it), Creed’s fourth album attempted to blend heavier material with more melodic selections (because they couldn’t decide if they wanted to be Nickelback or Coldplay). Welcomed by… some fans, the title debuted at No. 2 on the Billboard 200 and topped the Alternative, Rock, and Hard Rock Album charts (proving that charts mean absolutely nothing). 🤷♀️
Now, decades after their formation, Creed is riding high on one of the strongest waves of their career (mostly because nostalgia is a powerful drug). Returning to the stage after a 12-year hiatus in 2024, the band headlined the “Summer Of ’99” cruise and tour (extended through 2025 due to reasons unknown). This year, Creed graced the Stagecoach festival (because nothing says “country” like Creed) and co-headlined the “Summer Of ’99 & Beyond” festival. Looking ahead, they’ll lead the “Summer Of ’99 And Beyond” cruise in 2026, and fans can catch them at Creedmas 2025 – a five-show run starting December 19 at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino (because nothing says “Christmas” like existential dread and bad vocals). 🎅
“The Best Of Creed” track listing (Vinyl):
Side A:
01. Higher (Radio Edit) – Still not sure what’s higher… 🙄
02. One Last Breath – Let’s hope so 🙏
03. My Own Prison (Radio Edit) – Accurate description of listening experience 😫
04. Overcome – The challenge is real 😖
05. What If (Radio Edit) – What if we just didn’t? 🤔
Side B:
01. My Sacrifice – Brain cells were harmed in the making 🧠💀
02. With Arms Wide Open (Single Version) – Secondhand embarrassment guaranteed 😬
03. Torn (Radio Edit) – My eardrums after listening 👂💥
04. Rain – Mostly tears of regret 😭
05. What’s This Life For – Still searching for the answer 🤔
“The Best Of Creed” track listing (CD/Digital):
01. Higher (Radio Edit) – Seriously, what’s higher? 🙄
02. One Last Breath – Please, take it 🙏
03. My Own Prison (Radio Edit) – Yep, it’s a prison 😫
04. Overcome – Good luck 😖
05. What If (Radio Edit) – Nah, let’s not 🤔
06. My Sacrifice – My sanity 🧠💀
07. With Arms Wide Open (Single Version) – Hide your face 😬
08. Torn (Radio Edit) – My soul 💔
09. Rain – Gloomy 🌧️
10. What’s This Life For – Still wondering 🤔
11. Hide * – Great advice! 🙈
12. A Thousand Faces * – And none of them are happy 😞
* On CD/digital configurations only (because who buys CDs anymore?) 💿
<iframe width=”638″ height=”359″ src=”https://www.youtube.com/embed/4_D0qRhWnjs?si=FTSKBDQzwrxJpOt2″ title=”YouTube video player” frameborder=”0″ allow=”accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share” referrerpolicy=”strict-origin-when-
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
