Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: horror

Noem throws a tantrum, demands total power over disaster funds, potentially dooming us all
Elephant Reads CNN

Noem throws a tantrum, demands total power over disaster funds, potentially dooming us all

Big ElephantJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

Oh, the horror! According to CNN, fearless leader Kristi Noem is actually trying to stop the endless flow of taxpayer…

Revocation? More Like Re-VOKE-ing My Interest: Announcing Their Newest Album, ‘New Gods, New Masters’ (Yawn)
Breaking, Music News

Revocation? More Like Re-VOKE-ing My Interest: Announcing Their Newest Album, ‘New Gods, New Masters’ (Yawn)

Chord F. DiscordJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

OMG! 😱 REVOCATION, those tech-death dudes who peaked like, five albums ago, are dropping a new album called “New Gods,…

RFK Jr. vs. Big Pharma Ads: Let the Broadcaster Bloodbath Begin
Elephant Reads CNN

RFK Jr. vs. Big Pharma Ads: Let the Broadcaster Bloodbath Begin

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Here we go again, folks! CNN, still crying about Trump, even in 2025! Now they’re whining that RFK Jr., yes,…

CNN Business Reports: Some Dude Filming a ‘No Kings’ Thingy Got Busted and Might Get the Boot
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Business Reports: Some Dude Filming a ‘No Kings’ Thingy Got Busted and Might Get the Boot

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Another day, another so-called “journalist” from El Salvador crying about deportation. CNN is clutching its pearls because this guy, Mario…

Trump Declares He’s Too Good to Grace Minnesota Governor with His Divine Voice After Suspect Nabbed
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Declares He’s Too Good to Grace Minnesota Governor with His Divine Voice After Suspect Nabbed

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the horror! Two Dem lawmakers in Minnesota got a little scare, and suddenly it’s Trump’s fault? The Fake News…

Kraft Heinz caves to tin-foil hat demands, yanks “artificial” colors from food, world now ending
Elephant Reads CNN

Kraft Heinz caves to tin-foil hat demands, yanks “artificial” colors from food, world now ending

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the horror! Kraft Heinz, bending the knee to the woke mob, is stripping artificial colors from our beloved Mac…

Welcome to the 24/7 Grind: Where Your Boss Owns Your Soul (and Your Evenings)
Elephant Reads CNN

Welcome to the 24/7 Grind: Where Your Boss Owns Your Soul (and Your Evenings)

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the horror! According to CNN, those poor, oppressed workers are being forced to work long hours thanks to the…

USA Spends Less, Blames Tariffs, World Laughs
Elephant Reads CNN

USA Spends Less, Blames Tariffs, World Laughs

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is now blaming President Trump for…checks notes…Americans buying too much stuff? Apparently, these socialists think you…

JPMorgan Sapphire Card: Now 45% More Expensive to Impress People You Don’t Even Like
Elephant Reads CNN

JPMorgan Sapphire Card: Now 45% More Expensive to Impress People You Don’t Even Like

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the horror! JPMorgan Chase, bending to the woke mob, is hiking the annual fee on its Sapphire Reserve card…

MyPillow Guy Pilloried: Jury Says He Did a No-No to Voting Machine Dude
Elephant Reads CNN

MyPillow Guy Pilloried: Jury Says He Did a No-No to Voting Machine Dude

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Another day, another victory for the Deep State! A Colorado jury, probably filled with soy-latte-sipping liberals, has decided that MyPillow’s…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 65 66 67 … 75 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: DJT builds greatest ballroom at White House as gift to USA
  • Trump Spares Ireland’s Booze Because Priorities
  • Iron Maiden in Charlotte, NC (09/12/2026)
  • Megadeth in Charlotte, NC (09/12/2026)
  • Trump Official Downplays AI Apocalypse with Eye Roll

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.