Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Insurance

GODSMACK Announces Summer 2026 European Tour (For the 7 People Still Listening)
Live, Music News

GODSMACK Announces Summer 2026 European Tour (For the 7 People Still Listening)

Chord F. DiscordDecember 2, 2025December 2, 2025

GODSMACK, those purveyors of, uh, “music,” have announced a whopping dozen or so European shows for the distant year of…

LINKIN PARK’s Dave ‘Phoenix’ Farrell Thinks Comeback’s a Smash Hit, Says Gigs Didn’t Suck Too Bad
Breaking, Music News

LINKIN PARK’s Dave ‘Phoenix’ Farrell Thinks Comeback’s a Smash Hit, Says Gigs Didn’t Suck Too Bad

Chord F. DiscordNovember 30, 2025November 30, 2025

Yo, what up, fellow numb-nuts? 👋 It’s your boy, Dave “Phoenix” Farrell, here to drop some truth bombs about LINKIN…

GOP Tantrum Over Trump’s Mystery Health Plan: A Comedy Show in the Making
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Tantrum Over Trump’s Mystery Health Plan: A Comedy Show in the Making

Big ElephantNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re whining that some RINOs are squawking about President Trump’s AMAZING new…

LAMB OF GOD Drops New Single ‘Parasocial Christ’ – Prepare to Worship Your Screen
Breaking, Music News

LAMB OF GOD Drops New Single ‘Parasocial Christ’ – Prepare to Worship Your Screen

Chord F. DiscordNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

LAMB OF GOD, those elder statesmen of metalcore dad-rock, have graced us with “Parasocial Christ,” a three-minute sonic tantrum designed…

Marjorie Taylor Greene’s “Political Revolt”: Is This the End of the Orange One
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Marjorie Taylor Greene’s “Political Revolt”: Is This the End of the Orange One

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

So, Marjorie Taylor Greene, bless her heart, is now suddenly Mother Teresa after having a “sharp break” with our glorious…

ACA Premium Hikes: Prepare for Impact (and LOLs) in Just Four Charts
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ACA Premium Hikes: Prepare for Impact (and LOLs) in Just Four Charts

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Obamacare Open Enrollment: Prepare for Sticker Shock Thanks to Socialist Subsidies! The failing Affordable Care Act is back in the…

Government Workers Whine About Their Paid Vacation and Mild Inconveniences: A CNN Sob Story
Elephant Reads CNN

Government Workers Whine About Their Paid Vacation and Mild Inconveniences: A CNN Sob Story

Big ElephantOctober 27, 2025October 27, 2025

Oh, the horror! Three government workers, probably card-carrying members of the socialist Democrat party, are struggling because they can’t get…

Crime 101: Chris Hemsworth and a bunch of other famous people try not to trip over their own feet in a new heist movie trailer
Breaking, Movie News

Crime 101: Chris Hemsworth and a bunch of other famous people try not to trip over their own feet in a new heist movie trailer

FinnOctober 23, 2025October 23, 2025

Ah, yes, another gritty crime drama set in the glamorous cesspool that is Los Angeles. Because we haven’t seen enough…

CNN: Commie Clowns Celebrate as Some Dude Nobody’s Heard Of Gets a Promotion
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Commie Clowns Celebrate as Some Dude Nobody’s Heard Of Gets a Promotion

Big ElephantOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Oh, the horror! Fresh from their love-fest with Hamas after those Israeli hostages were released, the Democratic Socialists of America…

Gov. Shapiro’s House Got a Little Too Toasty, Maybe He Should’ve Ordered the Extra Insurance
Elephant Reads CNN

Gov. Shapiro’s House Got a Little Too Toasty, Maybe He Should’ve Ordered the Extra Insurance

Big ElephantOctober 15, 2025October 15, 2025

Another day, another leftist loon attempts to undermine our great nation! Cody Balmer, probably a brainwashed product of some liberal…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 5 6 7 8 Next

Latest posts

  • Democrats Gain Momentum, Republicans Construct Obstacle To Progress Literally
  • Demi Lovato Rocks Out with Pabllo Vittar at Rock in Rio
  • J Balvin Brings Brazilian Beats to Rock in Rio Festival Stage
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social September 13 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social September 13 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.