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Tag: Internet

GPS: Is Silicon Valley Finally Based
Elephant Reads CNN

GPS: Is Silicon Valley Finally Based

Big ElephantOctober 5, 2025October 5, 2025

Oh, here we go again! Nick Clegg, that ะ•ะฒั€ะพ-weenie who couldn’t save his own political career in Britain, is now…

Rock Band 4: This Weekend It’s Going, Going, Gone (Like Your Dreams of Rock Stardom)
Breaking, Games News

Rock Band 4: This Weekend It’s Going, Going, Gone (Like Your Dreams of Rock Stardom)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

Oh, the sweet sound of failure! ๐ŸŽถ After a whole decade of pretending to be rockstars in their living rooms,…

Minecraft Goes Back to the Stone Age (But Make It Copper)
Breaking, Games News

Minecraft Goes Back to the Stone Age (But Make It Copper)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 28, 2025September 28, 2025

Alright, gamers, gather ’round because Minecraft is apparently still a thing! ๐Ÿ™„ After enduring the “Happy Ghast” update (who asked…

Shavo From System Of A Down Says ‘Chop Suey!’ Is Good Or Whatever
Breaking, Music News

Shavo From System Of A Down Says ‘Chop Suey!’ Is Good Or Whatever

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 27, 2025September 27, 2025

OMG! ๐Ÿ˜ฒ Shavo Odadjian, the bass god from SYSTEM OF A DOWN, blessed us with his profound thoughts on “Chop…

Borderlands 4 on Switch 2: Delayed Again? Color Me Shocked
Breaking, Games News

Borderlands 4 on Switch 2: Delayed Again? Color Me Shocked

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 24, 2025September 24, 2025

Wow, Borderlands 4, the game everyone totally asked for, had a “successful” launch on Xbox, PC, and PS5. But hold…

Keanu “Whoa” Reeves Plays God in Aziz Ansari’s Comedy That Might Actually Be Good
Breaking, Movie News

Keanu “Whoa” Reeves Plays God in Aziz Ansari’s Comedy That Might Actually Be Good

FinnSeptember 24, 2025September 24, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Good Fortune, the cinematic masterpiece (or trainwreck, depending on your tolerance for questionable decisions), is…

China’s waging war against sad bois online, tears are now illegal
Elephant Reads CNN

China’s waging war against sad bois online, tears are now illegal

Big ElephantSeptember 24, 2025September 24, 2025

Another day, another desperate attempt by the Commies in China to crush freedom! They’re not just silencing dissent; now they’re…

Painkiller: Now With Extra EXPLOSIONS and ANGELS (because why not)
Breaking, Games News

Painkiller: Now With Extra EXPLOSIONS and ANGELS (because why not)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 23, 2025September 23, 2025

Ah yes, 3D Realms, the kings๐Ÿ‘‘ of milking nostalgia, are back at it again! They’ve bravely decided to slap a…

‘Avengers: Doomsday’: More Spoilers Than You Can Shake a Stick At
Breaking, Movie News

‘Avengers: Doomsday’: More Spoilers Than You Can Shake a Stick At

FinnSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

OMG! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ Marvel just dropped the lamest plot synopsis EVER for Avengers: Doomsday. Are you ready for this earth-shattering revelation?…

Ozzy’s ‘Last Chapter’? More Like ‘Last Gasp’ on BBC in October
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy’s ‘Last Chapter’? More Like ‘Last Gasp’ on BBC in October

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 18, 2025September 18, 2025

OMG! Ozzy Osbourne, that decrepit geezer who somehow managed to make a career out of mumbling and biting bats๐Ÿฆ‡, apparently…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Todayโ€™s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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